


Growing Up Together

by depressionkitty



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-02-18 03:22:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 28,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21720952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/depressionkitty/pseuds/depressionkitty
Summary: Clarke and Octavia grow up as next-door neighbours and become best friends. They're each other's favorite person. Only problem? Octavia's older brother, Bellamy, and Clarke absolutely despise each other... at first.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 24
Kudos: 116





	1. The Beginning and End of High School

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you will like it

Clarke met Octavia Blake when they were both twelve and the Blakes moved into the house next to the Griffins. Clarke had gone outside and was immediately met by the skinny girl with her long dark hair in two braids. They started talking and within short they started hanging out. After only a week (when Octavia had started in the same class as Clarke) they already viewed each other as best friends. Within short, they had their group of friends - Clarke, Octavia, Echo, Harper, Jasper and Monty. Clarke felt near euphoric from the feeling of having friends she loved and cared for so much... but there was just a small problem. Octavia's brother, Bellamy... he was an ass. Told Clarke constantly that she was a spoiled little princess and she would fight back, which wasn't something he was used to. 

Fourteen

"I can't believe you're not gonna go to the same school as us!" Octavia groaned as she threw herself on Clarke's bed. "Who's gonna help me with my homework now?"

Clarke snorted. "Okay, 1) I'm not dying. I can still help you with your homework, dummy", Clarke was trying on the school uniform she was going to be forced to wear. Her mother had decided for her that she was going to a private school, filled with a bunch of snobs. "And 2) if that's the only reason why you're gonna miss me, then screw you."

Octavia laughed and Clarke smiled to herself... until she saw herself in the mirror with the uniform on. It was a white shirt (that was a bit big), a black and blue skirt (that was kind of long) and knee-high white socks. 

"Oh, God", she whispered and Octavia looked up at her blonde friend.

The brunette burst out laughing and jumped off the bed. Clarke groaned loudly but could feel the twitching at the corners of her mouth. Octavia came up behind her and hugged her waist.

"I can't believe I'm gonna start high school without you", Octavia sighed and squeezed her friend affectionately.

"I can't believe I'm gonna start high school wearing this", Clarke joked and the two girls giggled. "I'm gonna miss you though, babe."

"You too", Octavia said and let go of the blonde. Clarke turned around to face her best friend to see that she was crying. "I would wear that awful outfit for the rest of my life if it meant you would never have to leave me."

Clarke felt tears starting to stream down her face as well but still laughed slightly. "O, we're gonna see each other everyday either way. We literally live just a few feet from each other. It would be near impossible to not see each other."

Octavia nodded and quickly dried her tears and it pained Clarke. She knew her friend saw crying as a weakness and therefore hated doing it in front of others and she didn't want Octavia to feel that way - at least not around her.

"Could you imagine though?" Clarke began. "If I could avoid your family, I would never have to see Bellamy again."

Octavia let out a laugh and Clarke smiled, proud that she managed to cheer up the friend. 

"Octavia!" Abby, Clarke's mother, called from downstairs. "Your mother called saying dinner's ready!"

"Okay!" Octavia called back before turning to the blonde. "See you after school tomorrow?"

"Meet-up outside on the street and then we can go the water-clearing", Clarke smiled widely, and Octavia mirrored the facial expression.

\---

Clarke found that the snobby school was worse than she had ever imagined. All the girls were either stuck-up or only cared about schoolwork, Clarke didn't connect with any of them. Luckily, her childhood/family friend, Wells, was also stuck in this school. So, she wasn't completely alone and could talk with him... and laugh at how ugly his outfit was as well. By the time school ended, Clarke barely told him goodbye before running home. The water-clearing was a lake in the woods behind the girls' houses/yards, and it was the girls' favorite place to hang out. It was the only place they could hang out just the two of them. 

Clarke stopped in front of the Blake-household and knocked on the door excitedly. The door opened _and_... it was not Octavia standing there, but the sixteen year old Bellamy Blake and he looked extremely tired - until he looked down at Clarke. That made him burst out laughing uncontrollably. Clarke's face flushed with both anger and embarrassment over her outfit and Bellamy's reaction. When he finally stopped laughing, Clarke had her hands on her hips out of annoyance.

"I'm here for Octavia", she then said.

"Oh no, princess", Bellamy said with a self-serving smirk on his face (Clarke had thought more than once about punching it off of him). "You don't seriously expect me to just not comment on", he gestured towards the clothes, "this."

Clarke huffed and crossed her arms. "What is it that you even wanna say? You gonna go with the 'schoolgirl fantasy'-thing and how I'm ruining the trope for you? Or maybe how you saw a porno start this exact way?"

Bellamy widened his eyes in surprise and he smirked even more annoyingly. "I was just gonna say that you look like a dork."

"Oh", Clarke uttered and felt her face get flushed again. "Then... nevermind."

Bellamy still had that goddamned grin on his face when he said: "Octavia isn't home yet."

Clarke huffed and turned around to walk away, glad to get away from the situation when -

"Clarke!" Octavia shouted from down the street.

She had her dark hair in a ponytail and was wearing a pair of shorts along with a loose tank top. Clarke smiled when she saw her and the two ran towards each other and quickly crashed into a gut-squeezing hug. The force of their crash made them spin around in the hug, but they didn't mind. 

Once they let go of each other, they looked into each other's eyes with giant dorky smiles on their faces. 

"I missed you", Octavia said. "School isn't the same without you."

"I missed you too. I really wish I had you with me today."

"Didn't you two see each other yesterday?" Bellamy suddenly cuts in. He had been observing the girls and looked slightly uncomfortable. "And like every day before that?"

"Screw you, Bellamy", Clarke muttered. "Don't ruin this beautiful moment." 

"Yeah, just because you don't have any friends", Octavia told her brother and gave him the killer-look Clarke had seen her give him many times.

Bellamy smirked. "Oh, I have friends. There's Aubrey, Roma, Bree and many others. However, we prefer to hug with a little less clothing on."

"Ew!" the two girls groaned. 

Bellamy chuckled before closing the door and the girls rolled their eyes. 

"Anyways", Octavia said. "Let's go."

Once they got to the water-clearing they sat down on the ground and started talking about their day. Clarke told Octavia about all the snotty and bratty kids and how she would probably be crying if it wasn't for Wells. Octavia then began explaining how Jasper and Monty kept acting like clowns whilst herself, Echo and Harper had been talking through it all. How the others missed Clarke and how they needed to have a sleepover soon.

"We'll be okay, right?" Clarke asked after the girls had been lying on the ground, staring up at the sky for a while. "We won't stop hanging out because of this... will we?"

Octavia sat up and looked at her friend and she almost looked offended. "Of course not! I know I was a wreck yesterday, but that was because I was nervous about our first day at school without each other in two years - not because I'm afraid we'll stop being friends." Octavia grabbed Clarke's hand. "I'll never let you leave me." 

Clarke let out a laugh and squeezed her friend's hand. "I will never leave you." 

They smiled and lied down on the ground again, feeling the comfort of each other's hands still intertwined. They made this a weekly thing, making sure they met up every week at least once - sometimes with the rest of the group and sometimes just the two of them. Either way, they kept close.

Sixteen

"I'll tell you this", Clarke said as she was trying on her new uniform (since she had grown a bit over the summer) in Octavia's room, "I have _not_ missed this thing."

"Uhu", Octavia simply mumbled without looking up from her phone.

Clarke turned around and looked at her friend with suspicion written all over her face. She walked over to the brunette to see what she was looking at. The name 'Atom' was on the top of a text conversation and he kept sending insisting messages.

"I told him I wanted to break up", Octavia explained without even looking up. "And he didn't exactly take it very well."

Clarke read what he had written.

_Atom_

_I can't believe you're doing this! I thought we_

_had something._

_Octavia! Answer me!_

_Fine, be a little bitch then_

_I'm sorry, okay? I really am_

And it went on like that.

"Jesus", Clarke mumbled as she tried to fix her skirt. "I think you made the right decision." 

"Yeah, no shi-", Octavia was cut off by Bellamy's knock on the door.

"Everyone decent?" he called.

The girls giggled - he had accidentally walked in on Clarke when she was changing once, not that he had actually seen anything, but it was enough to traumatize him and get him to actually knock.

Clarke went over and opened the door, as Octavia made no effort to get off her bed. Bellamy had grown more muscular over the two years gone by and also, weirdly enough, slightly less intolerable. Clarke, herself, had grown into a woman and had noticed more than once how men could check her out. Including Bellamy (not that it meant anything. Even Echo would constantly give her compliments for her figure and chest.) She also fit better in her school uniform (Octavia had even joked that actually did look like the 'schoolgirl fantasy'-trope). 

The eighteen year old gave Clarke a quick glance-over before giving her his signature smirk.

"Back in the uniform, are we?" 

Clarke quirked her right eyebrow. "Wow, you really don't miss anything, do you?"

"Would be hard to miss", he said and Clarke was surprised by how serious he seemed.

She felt like she was burning under his gaze and neither one of them said anything for just a second, although it felt like forever in Clarke's world, before Octavia cut in. 

"Oh, leave her alone, Bell", she got off her bed and went over to the two, gently taking a hold of Clarke's arm. "I think you look great, sweetie."

Clarke gave her a smile, but couldn't help but glance at Bellamy in the corner of her eyes. His expression seemed to indicate that he didn't actually disagree. 

"Anyways", Octavia continued and turned to her brother, "what do you want?" 

"Mom just left and I'm getting picked up by Murphy at any minute", he said, looking away from the blonde. "You guys promise you won't do anything stupid tonight?"

"It's just gonna be us and the rest of the group", Octavia told him as Clarke walked over to take a pair of shorts out of Octavia's closet. 

"And Finn!" Clarke called as she hid behind the curtain to change into more comfy clothes.

"Who?" Bellamy asked.

"Clarke's boyfriend", Octavia tells her brother with a smirk.

Clarke got out from behind the curtain, now wearing a pair of black sweat-shorts and a white t-shirt, and said: "Octavia!"

"What?" Octavia tried to look innocent. "You want him to be."

"He doesn't need to know that", Clarke said and gestured to Bellamy, who simply raised his eyebrow with that damned smirk. "And you can _not_ let Finn know that tonight either."

The brunette rolled her eyes. "Of course not, dummy."

They suddenly heard a car honk outside. 

"That would be Murphy", Bellamy then said. "Have a good night and", he pointed to his sister, "don't do anything stupid." 

Octavia was even worse at looking innocent this time as she said: "I would never."

Bellamy gave his sister a glare before turning to Clarke, but before he even had time to open his mouth she said: "I'll look over her until you get home."

He nodded before walking off, leaving the two girls giggling again. 

\---

"Spin the bottle, anyone?" Octavia suddenly exclaimed. 

Clarke nearly choked on her drink and coughed loudly. Finn, who was standing next to her, gave her a smile and asked if she was okay. 

"Mhm", she got out before excusing herself and dragging Octavia out of the room. 

"No", she only said when they were in private. "No." 

"What?" Octavia sucked at hiding her smile. "Maybe I just want an excuse to make out with Jasper... or Echo for that matter." 

Clarke was about to continue protesting when the front door opened. Bellamy and his friends, Murphy and (Nathan) Miller, entered. 

"A party?" Murphy said with the only facial expression Clarke had ever seen him wear, a self-serving smirk. "Bellamy, when you said you needed us to get home early, I didn't think it was because you wanted to get drunk with your sister's friends." 

"Shut up, Murphy", Bellamy muttered before walking over to the two girls and Octavia quickly hid her beer bottle behind her back.

"Hey, big brother", she said and Clarke simply sighed, moving over so she wouldn't get caught in the crossfire. "You're home early."

The tall eighteen year old didn't say anything, he only pulled the bottle out from behind Octavia's back and looked at her with the 'older brother'-glare Clarke had seen him give her many times before. In the background, she could see Jasper and Monty throwing their alcohol in Harper's bag in a panic and Echo only sat and laughed on the couch. She wasn't really scared of these things, her foster parents weren't exactly... present and so she never had to worry about consequences. Finn was standing at the same place as before, looking confused and Clarke couldn't remember ever feeling so embarrassed. 

"Okay, that's it", Bellamy grumbled and turned to face all the other kids. "Everyone, get out! Go home!" 

Jasper and Monty ran out like Bellamy were the police and Harper walked out after them, giving Clarke and Octavia a wave before leaving though. Murphy and Miller seemed to enjoy the show where they were standing, even drinking from the bottles that were left. Echo, who wasn't afraid of Bellamy (unlike the others in the group) walked over to the trio and gave the girls a hug before leaving herself. Finn put his bottle down on the table by the couch, although Murphy immediately grabbed it, and walked over to the door. He stopped there and looked over at Clarke and she hurried over to him. They walked outside.

"I'm so so sorry about this", she said. "He wasn-", she was cut off by his lips on hers. 

It wasn't as gentle as Clarke had thought, but it still left her breathless. His hands were around her waist and hers were in his long hair. When he pulled away, Clarke could only smile. 

"Sorry", he said, "I wanted to do that and when Octavia mentioned spin the bottle I thought that was my chance... but then th-", this time Clarke cut _him_ off with a kiss.

It was even hungrier and definitely quite sloppy (due to the alcohol in their systems) and when they pulled away, they were both grinning. 

"I should go", he said. "But I will definitely see you soon." 

Clarke giggled and nodded before Finn walked off. The blonde couldn't keep the smile off her face as she entered the house again. There Bellamy and Octavia were arguing whilst Bellamy's friends were sitting on the couch and just watching. Clarke sighed and walked over to sit down next to the boys, this wasn't the first time she would hang with them while the siblings argued, but Bellamy stopped her. 

"And you!" he uttered and Clarke turned to him in shock. "You said you would look after her!"

Clarke realized then how much she had really been drinking because her balance was a little off and she definitely didn't feel as smart as usual.

"I did", she said as convincing she could. "I made sure that, um... if I thought she drank too much, I would drink more."

Octavia sighed, Bellamy looked very confused and Clarke could hear the other boys laughing behind her. 

"How much _did_ you drink?" Bellamy asked then.

"That", Clarke tried to think, but her mind was fuzzy, "is actually not a question I would like to answer."

Bellamy sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Girls, you go upstairs and sleep. We'll take care of this." 

"Wha-", Murphy began.

"Don't start", Miller warned his friend, probably because of how their friend was already boiling from anger. 

Octavia jogged over and grabbed Clarke's hand before dragging the blonde upstairs. "Good night, Bellamy! Love you!"

\---

"I hate everything", Clarke muttered as she got downstairs. 

She had woken up in Octavia's bed all alone with a massive headache. When she got downstairs, Bellamy and Octavia were sitting at the kitchen table - seemingly arguing about the previous night's events. They stopped when Clarke entered the room.

"Everything... good?" Clarke asked, even though she knew the answer to that. "You're... not gonna kill each other, or me..., right?"

Octavia smiled and Clarke could even see the corner of Bellamy's lips quirk up a little. 

"You're still alive, aren't you?" Bellamy answered and Clarke smiled.

"Your mom called though", Octavia said. "She wanted you to get home as soon as you woke up."

"So I might not be alive for much longer. She can probably smell last night's alcohol all the way from home."

Octavia snorted and Bellamy chuckled. He gave his sister's knee an affectionate squeeze before walking away. Octavia then hopped up and walked over to Clarke.

"I'm sorry you didn't get your romantic evening with Finn."

The memory of the kiss came flashing through her mind and her cheeks flushed. "Actually... when we were saying goodbye, he kissed me."

Octavia let out a scream and Clarke blushed even more, but quickly hushed her friend. They decided to talk over the phone after Clarke had had her talk with her mother. The blonde then went home to be met by her parents. Her father, Jake, was a calm and loving man - Clarke always connected to him easier than she did to her mother, Abby, a strict heart surgeon but who still loved her daughter. 

"Am I in trouble?" Clarke asked when her parents sat her down on the couch.

"No, of course not", Jake assured his daughter. "Why would you think that?"

"Just the fact that you needed me home as soon as I woke up."

"Oh", Abby smiled, "I'm just going to visit your grandparents and wanted to see you before I left."

Clarke hugged her mother before the woman left, and Clarke went to sit down with her father. He was watching a soccer game and Clarke joined in. She wasn't a big fan but watching soccer was kind of their's and Wells' thing. 

"Did you have fun last night?"

"Yeah", Clarke smiled to herself, "it was nice to hang out with the old group."

"I really am sorry that you can't go to the same school as them, sweetie. You know how important it is to your mother that you get the best education possible."

"I know", Clarke leaned her head on her father's shoulder. "It's fine. I just... I don't know if I have the same dreams for my future as Mom."

This was something that had been bothering Clarke for a while. For as long as she could remember, Abby had talked about Clarke becoming a doctor just like her..., but Clarke wasn't sure if that's what she wanted that. She liked school and she liked helping people..., but she _loved_ drawing. She loved creating things and painting. Jake turned his head and looked down at his daughter. 

"I know", he surprised her with. "Clarke, it's important for me that you know that your future is no one's but yours. You do what _you_ wanna do. Be brave and believe in yourself."

He then kissed her forehead and Clarke almost felt like crying. She knew she could talk about anything with her father, but because she loved him so much she was afraid she would disappoint him like she knew she could sometimes disappoint her mother. Clarke wrapped her arms around him and squeezed tightly.

"Thanks, dad", she whispered. "I love you." 

"I love you too, sweetheart."

\---

A few months into school and Clarke had been dating Finn ever since that night when he kissed her. She knew their relationship wasn't perfect - he wasn't the brightest and didn't always get along with her friends, but he was nice, charming and he made her feel special. So when they had been making out at her house when it was empty a few months into the relationship and his hands had traveled down her body, she hadn't stopped him. Tonight they were gonna celebrate their four months anniversary. 

_Octavia (baby) Blake_

_Ofc you can borrow that dress_

_I'm not home but you can just go in and take it out of my apartment_

_Clarke (soulmate) Griffin_

_Thanku, bby_

_Love ya!_

_Octavia (baby) Blake_

_Love u2!_

_Just don't rip it apart ;)_

Clarke snorted and rolled her eyes as she put her phone back in her jacket pocket. She had been trying to pick out an outfit for half an hour but had found nothing. She was still just in the green hoodie she had stolen from Wells and a pair of black sweatpants. Her curly blonde hair was in a messy bun and she was getting increasingly more stressed with every second that went by.

She ran downstairs and over to the Blake household. She knocked frantically and Bellamy quickly opened. He was in a grey t-shirt that revealed his muscular figure very sufficiently along with a pair of jeans. Clarke hated the fact that she knew he was _technically_ really attractive, as she thought assholes like him should be ugly or at least... less attractive.

"Octavia isn't home", he answered in a grumpy tone of voice.

"Yeah, I know", Clarke forced herself not to roll her eyes. "She said I could come over and borrow a dress."

A smirk spread across Bellamy's face. "Ah, date with the Backstreet Boy tonight?"

This time she couldn't keep herself from rolling her eyes. "Can I come in or not?"

Bellamy chuckled and simply moved out of the way. Clarke hurried inside when she stopped because of the pile of paper on the coffee table. A cold feeling went over Clarke's body, she knew the Blake family wasn't the richest of families and had had trouble with bills in the past. 

"What's, uh... what's this?"

Bellamy walked up next to her to see what she was looking at.

"College applications."

The cold feeling left her body and she smiled in relief. "Oh! You decided on where you're going?"

"Nope", he mumbled as he sat down on the couch, "because I'm not going." 

"What?!" she exclaimed and she didn't mean for it to come out so aggressively, but it surprised them both just as much - although Bellamy composed himself quickly.

"I'm not going, princess." 

"Why not?" 

Bellamy sighed and rubbed his hand over his face in frustration.

"Look, I know you wanna get rid of me, but I really don-", Clarke cut him off.

"Don't be stupid, Bellamy!" she walked over and sat down next to him, completely forgetting why she had gotten to the house in the first place. "Of course you're going to college."

Bellamy just glared at her. "We don't all have a rich mommy that can pay for us so can do whatever the hell we want, princess."

Clarke took a deep breath. When she was younger she would have just started arguing with him and called him a jackass before walking off..., but now she knew he didn't actually mean what he was saying. He was just taking out his frustrations on her, hoping he would be able to tick her off.

"You could always get a scholarship", she said after calming herself down. "We both know you're smart enough to actually get one. You're a lot smarter than a lot of the pretentious assholes I go to school with."

This time Bellamy didn't seem to be able to recollect himself from the surprise he felt. Clarke almost felt self-conscious from the way he was looking at her, but she forced herself to continue looking into his eyes. He quickly plastered on the same smirk again and asked: "Why do you suddenly care so much?

"I care!" she exclaimed and they got caught in a tension-filled silence where they were only staring at each other. "I care."

They continued the staring and Clarke felt her heart beating so hard that it was all she could hear. She had never noticed how dark Bellamy's eyes were... Although this moment probably only lasted a few seconds, it felt like it went on for hours. Bellamy didn't break the silence with a snarky remark and Clarke didn't look away..., but it was all broken off when Clarke's phone began buzzing. 

"Shit", she whispered as the name _Finn_ was displayed on top of it. "Sorry, I have to take this."

"Of course", Bellamy told her and looked away.

He grabbed one of the papers on the table and started reading some text on it, although Clarke suspected that he was just trying to seem like he was busy. After taking a breath, Clarke got off the couch and answered. 

"Hi, baby", she answered. "I'm hurrying."

"About that", Finn said on the other line and Clarke immediately felt her heart sink, "I can't go out tonight."

"What?" Clarke tried not to sound like a puny little girl, but felt how she was failing. "How come?"

"Boss is making me work over-time. I'm so sorry, babe." 

Clarke knew Finn had to work outside school to keep his apartment and that a big part of the time his job could be a pain, so she couldn't really blame him. 

"No, no - it's fine", she lied and kept her voice steady. "I get it. It's not an important anniversary anyways."

"You're the best, baby", he told her. "I'll make it up to you."

"You better", she joked as she wouldn't let him hear her disappointment. 

After hanging up, Clarke turned around to see Bellamy looking at her. She didn't want him to see her vulnerable and so she put up her walls and immediately tried to be defensive if he so much as tried talking to her. But he surprised her when instead of making a dumb comment, he asked: "You wanna help me look over the applications?"

A weird feeling of relief washed over Clarke. She felt a smile spreading across her face as she nodded and walked over to sit down next to him. Weirdly enough, after this they actually got along very well and Clarke even began viewing him as a friend.

\---

It was after dating for seven months that Clarke found out that Finn had been cheating. Even worse was the fact that she had apparently been the other woman. Raven Reyes, a beautiful latina, had rushed into Finn's apartment one day when Clarke had been there as well. Their makeout session had been cut short when she had come in and had started yelling at them both. When she had noticed Clarke's oblivion and then hurt once she had realized what was going on, Raven grabbed Clarke's hand - told Finn to fuck off and then dragged the blonde out of the apartment. They had gone to a coffee shop and started talking. 

Raven had apparently been studying across the country, but came to visit Finn, her boyfriend, (whom she had known since they were children) every so often. So many things became clear for Clarke - every canceled date, every secret phone call... everything.

"Jesus", Clarke uttered. "I feel so stupid."

"No!" Raven exclaimed and Clarke looked up at her in surprise. "Don't feel dumb, he's the idiot! The asshole! The dumbass that has now lost two gorgeous women like ourselves!"

Clarke couldn't help but smile. She kind of liked this chick. They lifted their coffee mugs and clinked them together in agreement that Finn was an asshole. 

After exchanging phone numbers, the girls said goodbye and Clarke went home. Her parents were working late, however, and she didn't want to be alone and so she decided to go to her second home. She knocked on the door to the Blake household and within seconds, Octavia threw the door open. She didn't even say anything - just threw herself in Clarke's arms excitedly. 

"Um", Clarke was very confused, "hello?"

Octavia let go and dragged the blonde inside, all the way into the kitchen where Bellamy was standing - seemingly being squeezed to death in a hug by their mother, Aurora. 

"What's going on?" Clarke asked.

Aurora turned around and went on to throw herself in Clarke's arms as well and Clarke hugged her back, just as confused as before. She looked at Bellamy with a question in her eyes that she was waiting for him to answer. He looked slightly embarrassed as he grabbed some paper that was on the table and held it up for her to see. Whilst Aurora continued to suffocate the blonde, she read what the letter said.

_Dear Bellamy:_

_Congratulations! It is with great pleasure that I announce to you your admission to Arkadia -_

Clarke didn't have to read anymore, she got out of Aurora's grip and walked over to Bellamy - nearly throwing herself in his arms. He squeezed her tightly and spun her around. After letting go of one another, too quickly for Clarke's liking, she smiled up at the dark-haired man. 

"I told you it was gonna work, you dummy", she said, almost having forgotten the hurt feelings she had felt earlier. 

"Thank you, Clarke", he said very earnestly and Clarke felt her heart skip a beat. 

Their moment was swiftly ended though when Aurora said: "Oh, I'm gonna cook you something real good! Clarke, you're welcome to stay and eat."

Clarke turned around and gave the older brunette a smile. "I would love to."

\---

After eating dinner, Clarke told Octavia about everything that had happened with Finn and Raven. Octavia went nuts and Clarke nearly had to stop her from going over to his apartment and killing him. It came to the point that Bellamy came into the room and asked if everything was alright.

"Yeah, yeah", Clarke tried but Octavia cut her off.

"No! I'm gonna kill Finn Collins!"

"Octavia", Clarke hissed and pulled her friend down on the bed again. 

She didn't want Bellamy to know what had happened, but he was already in the room and within seconds asked: "Why?"

Octavia opened her mouth to answer but Clarke put her hand on the girl's mouth She didn't answer either, but Bellamy seemed to connect the dots. At least that she had been hurt by the boy she had thought she could love. Bellamy kneeled down in front of the girls on the bed.

"Want me to kick his ass?" he asked and Clarke burst out laughing.

She knew a part of him was serious, but the whole situation was just so bizarre. She was holding her best friend down from murdering her cheating ex and her former 'enemy' was saying he could defend her honor or something. Once she stopped laughing, she saw how Bellamy was smiling. 

"I'm good", she said even though she knew he could do it if she asked him to. "But thank you."

Eighteen

The past two years had been hard. Only a month after turning seventeen, Jake Griffin died in a car accident - leaving a grieving daughter and wife in pain. Clarke relied on everyone in her surroundings. The entire Blake family was there for both her and her mother and Wells was there for her through it all as well. Raven and Echo were probably some of the best support Clarke could imagine, surprisingly enough, as they knew what it felt like to lose a parent. Clarke never thought she would be able to get over the pain, and she didn't - but she was able to start living again. She got into the college she wanted (the same college that Octavia, Monty, Jasper and Harper were going to as well). Echo said she wasn't gonna go to college as she couldn't afford it. She terrified the entire group when she told them she was gonna join the army, but they accepted it... after a while. In May, right before Clarke was gonna graduate, she noticed Bellamy's car on the street when she got home. Having grown closer during the years, Clarke immediately felt excited and ran over to knock on the door. 

The curly-haired man opened the door after just seconds with a smirk on his face.

"I knew you were gonna come knocking", he said and Clarke rolled her eyes, although with a smile. 

"Shut up, you dork", she told him and pulled him into a hug, that he quickly reciprocated. 

Clarke had realized after hugging him a few times that he was her favorite hugger (besides Octavia... something about these Blakes). When they let go of each other Bellamy glanced down at her uniform and said: "You know, the older you get the more inappropriate this outfit gets."

Clarke burst out laughing and slapped Bellamy's shoulder. She felt her cheeks flush slightly and it didn't help how Bellamy was smiling widely down at her. 

They walked into the house and sat down on the couch to talk. They discussed school, friends and Clarke didn't even think about how easy it had gotten to talk with him. After talking for about an hour, Octavia came home. She walked in whilst her brother and best friend were drinking coffee in the kitchen. She didn't announce her arrival for a while, just observing her favorite people interacting. She had sensed them getting closer during the past few years, but seeing them hang out without her made her sure of the slight suspicion she had been feeling ever since Bellamy got into college. Something was going on between them, whether they realized it themselves or not. After observing for about a minute, she dropped her bag on the floor and got the attention of the room. 

"O", Bellamy said with a wide smile on his face, getting off the chair he had been sitting on, "I'm so glad to see you."

He walked over and gave his baby sister a hug that she returned. Her brother was the most important person in her life, including Clarke (although it was a tight race). The house always felt empty without him in it now and so seeing him and getting to hug him after having not seen him in months... she almost felt like crying. When they let go of one another, Clarke is standing next to Bellamy and Octavia smiled. She gave her best friend a hug as well.

"Okay", Octavia then said when getting out of the hug and looking at the blonde, "are you ready?"

"Shit", she exclaimed and looked at her father's watch on her wrist, "I'm gonna go get changed and then we can go."

"What are you guys gonna do?" Bellamy asked.

Clarke went and picked up her bag while Octavia answered.

"Mom and Abby are taking us shopping for prom dresses. I would ask you to come with, but I'm guessing you're not interested." 

Bellamy chuckled. "Nah, Murphy and I are going out to meet some old friends from high school. But tonight I'll bring home some dinner for us all."

"Yeah", Clarke walked up to the siblings again, "get something for me and my mom too."

He nodded, but added with a smirk: "Not sure if your mom will want to eat with me though."

"Oh, come on", Clarke nudged him. "My mom likes you."

"No, she doesn't", Bellamy and Octavia said at the same time and Clarke laughed.

"No, she doesn't", she agreed before saying goodbye and leaving. 

Once the blonde had left, Octavia turned to her brother with a smirk of her own. He cocked his head to the side with suspicion.

"What?" he said.

"Nothing, nothing", Octavia walked past him and sat down on the chair he had been sitting on earlier, "I just find it funny the way you went from hating the 'snotty little princess next door' to looking at her the way you do now."

Bellamy raised an eyebrow and played nonchalant, although he wasn't very good at it.

"What are you implying?"

Octavia chuckled, almost sounding like a Disney villain. "You know full well what I'm implying. We both know you're not that oblivious."

Bellamy opened his mouth to answer when the door opened and Aurora called: "My beautiful baby boy!"

The next ten minutes, Bellamy spent getting nearly suffocated to death by his mother and having Octavia laughing at his pained facial expression. 

\---

"I'm just saying", Octavia tried as she unzipped the dress she had been trying on, whilst Clarke stared at her in disbelief, "if you want my opinion on it, I think you would make a cute couple." 

"I can't believe what I'm hearing", Clarke said as she straightened out the dress she was wearing, mostly to avoid looking at her best friend. "So the moment I actually get along with your brother, there has to be something going on between us."

"No, you two got along at least kind of well before too", Octavia put on another dress, "I mean, you would argue but you still agreed on a lot of things. The difference now is the way you look at each other, the way you talk and for fuck's sake", she looked at her friend, "the way you two constantly find some way to touch one another. When he came back for Christmas, I almost felt like a third wheel." 

"Girls!" Abby called from outside. "Let's see!"

The girls pressed pause on their conversation and went out of the changing rooms to show their chattering mothers the dresses they were wearing. Clarke was in a long blue dress that glittered whilst Octavia was in wine red ballgown. Abby stood up and walked over to her daughter with tears in her eyes.

"You look like Cinderella", she whispered and looked up into her daughter's blue eyes. "You are so beautiful." 

Clarke felt tears starting to well up in her eyes as well. "Thanks, mom." 

Aurora walked up to her daughter as well, and said: "This is the dress."

Octavia smiled and let out a silent laugh. "It is."

\---

Prom night came around sooner than expected and within short, Clarke was sitting on her bed in her prom dress with Abby behind her - doing her hair. 

"I'm warning you before I say this because I don't want you to cry", Abby suddenly said.

"Oh, my God!" Clarke uttered. "What did you do to my hair?"

Abby barked out a laugh. "No, no - your hair looks great."

The older woman came up in front of her daughter and kneeled down in front of the beautiful girl she loved with all her heart. She grabbed her hand and squeezed it gently.

"I know you told your father that you were afraid of disappointing me because you don't want to be a doctor. And I just-", Abby's voiced cracked but she kept going. "I need you to know that there is nothing you could ever do to disappoint me or make me love you less." 

And there it was, the tears came streaming down Clarke's face. Just the mention of her father, the memory when he told her the same thing her mother is telling her now and the confirmation that her mother accepts her for exactly how she is... it's all too much. 

"I mean, I wouldn't love it if you dropped out of school and became a pole dancer", Abby added and Clarke burst out laughing despite the tears running down her face. "But... I love you no matter what. The doctor thing was _my_ dream and I will not stop you from pursuing _your_ dream." The older woman took a deep breath before finishing. "Your father would be so proud of you for who you have become and for who you are. I know he was proud of you from the moment you were born."

Clarke forced herself not to sob even though she really wanted to. Instead she threw herself in her mother's arms and hugged her tightly.

"I love you so much", she whispered with her face pressed into Abby's hair. 

Abby squeezed her daughter and whispered back. "I love you too."

\---

Since the Clarke and Octavia didn't go to the same school and therefor couldn't technically graduate together, they decided to have the graduation celebration together in the Griffins' backyard. A big white tent and both of their extended families packed in there. It took about half an hour before the girls were completely done with all of it and ran off with one of the champagne bottles. They got to the water-clearing and sat down in there in their white dresses. Shortly after Raven and Echo came and joined them.

"Hey, losers", Raven greeted as she slumped down next to Clarke.

Echo lied down and placed her head on Octavia's lap and Clarke realized how much she loved these girls. 

"Guys", she said and caught everyone's attention. "I need all of you to promise me that we will stick together and that we won't lose contact."

"Jesus Christ", Raven exclaimed. "Don't get all sentimental on me now. Of course, we're gonna stick together, babe."

"Yeah", Echo smiled up at the blonde. "I mean, even if I'm in the army I can keep in contact with all of you. We'll be fine." 

Octavia grabbed Clarke's hand. "I would never let you leave me, remember?"

Clarke smiled and squeezed the hand she was holding before turning to Raven. "Okay, open the champagne bottle. I know you have been dying to ever since you came here."

"Finally!" the latina shouted as she picked up the bottle and with a pop got off the cap. "To all of us! We're awesome!"

Clarke laughed while Echo and Octavia shouted: "Heer-heer!"

\---

At about 10pm the girls were properly good and drunk. Jasper, Monty and Harper had joined them at about 8pm and the boys had even brought there own moonshine (which is what everyone had gotten so intoxicated). Harper had also brought her father's loudspeaker and now everyone was listening to some music that was blasting out in the woods. Jasper and Monty were arguing with Raven about something scientific (they were all the smart ones), Echo and Harper were dancing and Clarke and Octavia were sitting on the ground and talking about what their student dorms would look like. It was about then that Bellamy, Murphy and Miller joined in (along with Miller's boyfriend Bryan). Miller and Bryan sat down for themselves and just seemed to enjoy each other's company. Murphy went over and joined Jasper, Monty, and Raven in their discussion. Not that he knew jack-shit about science, but he just liked to add in some snarky remarks that would piss of Raven. Bellamy came over and sat down in front of his sister and her best friend.

"So", he began with a smile, "how much have you two been drinking?"

"Believe me, big bro", Octavia said and put a hand on her brother's shoulder, "you don't wanna know."

Bellamy shrugged but with a grin on his face. They spent the night talking, socializing and at about 12am Octavia decided that it was about time to play 'Never Have I Ever'.

"Everyone knows the rules?" she asked once everyone had sat down in a circle.

"I think we would have to be idiots to not know the rules", Murphy said, which earned him a nudge from Bellamy.

"Okay, great", Octavia said, oblivious of the taunting. "I'll start - never have I ever... kissed a girl."

With flushed cheeks, Clarke downed her drink - along with Echo, Bellamy, Murphy, Jasper and Monty. The look of surprise on Bellamy's face did not go unnoticed and she quickly said: "A girl named Niylah in my art class."

"Okay, okay - my turn", Raven said. "Never have I ever had sex with two different people on the same day."

Silence for a few seconds before Bellamy downs another one of his drinks and cringes. 

"This is strong as fuck", he grumbled, but no one cared about that. 

"What?" Octavia exclaimed. 

Everyone was waiting for an explanation and after a few seconds, Bellamy sighed.

"I actually don't wanna go in on my sex life with my little sister", he said and gave Octavia a look that meant he didn't want her to argue. "I can go next though. Never have I ever... doubted my heterosexuality."

Miller cackled out a laugh before downing his drink in one swift motion. After him, Clarke and Echo downed their's as well. They had both come out as bisexual to their friends during their high school years and Abby had also been very supportive of Clarke. 

The night went on with spicier questions for every round. It was fun... until Murphy went: "Never have I ever had sex with Bellamy."

It was probably meant as a joke, but with a laugh both Raven and Echo downed their drinks. Clarke was immediately filled with a sting of jealousy, and she hated herself for it. She had no right to be jealous and she couldn't question it either, she would just sound like someone with a silly schoolgirl crush - especially now that she was drunk. Thankfully, Octavia was the one to ask.

"Wait, what?" 

Raven chuckled and Echo smirked..., but Bellamy just seemed embarrassed. Raven went on to tell them about her rebound sex with Bellamy after the break-up with Finn and then Echo went on to tell them about when 'it had just happened' a year prior when Octavia had had that party because Aurora wasn't home. Clarke felt sick to her stomach and she hated herself for it. 

_What did you think_ , her thoughts taunted her. _He's always been like this. He only views you as a second little sister or worse; as that bratty little princess, he hated when you were younger. You're no special._

Her mind was spinning and she felt like she was gonna throw up. That was when her phone began ringing. She immediately jumped on the chance to answer and leave the group. It was her mother.

"Hi, sweetie", Abby said on the other line. "The guests have all left and Aurora and I have cleaned up now. I'm going to bed, but you know where the spare key is, right?"

"Yeah - actually, I'm coming home any minute now."

"Oh, okay. Be safe and I love you."

"You too", Clarke responded before hanging up. 

She took a deep breath before going back to the group.

"Hey, guys - I'm gonna head home."

"You sure?" Octavia asked and Clarke could see it on her face, she knew.

The blonde plastered on a smile and nodded.

"I'll see you guys tomorrow. Good night", she said before quickly walking off, making sure that she didn't look in Bellamy's direction. 

She didn't get far though before she heard the distinct dark voice call after her.

"Clarke!" Bellamy ran up to her. "You okay?"

She truly did hate herself. All she could think about was how beautiful he was and how he had probably slept with half the girls in town, and how she had no right to be jealous whatsoever... and yet she was. She gave him a cold look, because if she did anything else - he would figure out what was going through her head. She just knew it.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

Bellamy scratched the back of his neck nervously. "Well, what happened back there, what they said-"

"That's just who you are", Clarke blurted out. "Why would I care about that?"

She knew she was being unfair and she could see on the look on his face that what she was saying hurt him, but she couldn't let him know how he affected her and how much she actually did care.

"Well... I thought", he looked at her for a few seconds, then down at the ground and then up at her again. "Nothing, nevermind."

"Fine", Clarke said. "Can I go now?"

 _Because I have to go cry in my room_ , her mind finished.

Bellamy straightened his back and said with an equally cold tone: "Nothing's holding you back, is there?"

And with that, he turned around and walked back to the others - leaving Clarke with tears in her eyes. She swallowed the hurt and turned around - heading home.


	2. The Beginning and End of College

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> College begins and Clarke is still avoiding Bellamy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, I was supposed to post this a loooooong time ago, but all my progress got lost so I had to re-write everything (it got better though lol). anyways, angst hehe. hope you guys like it

Eighteen still

They had managed to avoid each other all summer. Because they were too proud? Nah, they were both just stubborn cowards both of them - which Octavia let them know every day. Today was the day the girls would leave for college.

"Ey, doofus!" Octavia called into the house. Bellamy rolled his eyes and popped his head out of the kitchen to see Octavia standing by the open door. "Help us put the boxes in the car, we need your muscles." 

"Mhm", Bellamy mumbled as he raised an eyebrow at his sister. "What could you possibly have that is too heavy for you to carry? I've seen you with Jasper on your back." 

The younger Blake rolled her eyes with a smirk. "It's not me, it's Clarke's box filled with books." 

Bellamy, who had been making his way over to the door, stopped and looked at his sister with eyes that made him seem... scared. His heart was beating at a mile a minute at just the thought of seeing Clarke. Octavia clearly noticed. 

"Jesus fucking Christ, dude", she muttered as she grabbed her brother's hand and dragged him out of the house. "I don't understand why you guys have made such a big deal out of this - you were both drunk that night an-" 

"Just let it go, O", Bellamy growled before getting out of her grip, heading towards the Griffin household on his own. 

The door was open, letting in the summer air, and Abby was standing right by the opening. Once she looked up and saw the twenty-year-old, she smiled and exclaimed: "Bellamy! It's been a while since I saw you last. Your mother said you've been working all summer." 

Feeling a bit awkward due to Abby's sudden kindness, as he'd been pretty sure she hadn't been a big fan of him in the past (not without reason, considering what an asshole he used to be toward her daughter), Bellamy nearly squirmed on the spot. 

"Um, yeah. I got a job at the library." 

"That's great", she said as she walked over to him. "Any work is good work... besides selling drugs and your body, perhaps." 

"Ha!" Bellamy couldn't prevent the exclaim that escaped him at the older woman's comment, and she smiled kindly at him. He smiled back, feeling a bit more comfortable... maybe she didn't hate him after all. "As long as you get paid, I won't judge anyone." 

Now it was Abby's turn to let out a laugh and she patted him on the shoulder. "Whatever helps you sleep at night." 

Bellamy smiled, mostly to himself - he was used to just assuming people disliked him (at least his personality) and whenever the opposite was proven, he felt a surge of happiness... this happiness was cut short, however, by a large amount of anxiety. 

"Hey, mom! Where did Oct-", Clarke stopped short on top the stairs when she laid eyes on Bellamy. It wasn't fair how effortlessly gorgeous he looked - blue t-shirt (that showed off his amazing abs) and a simple pair of jeans, along with his black curls that had grown out slightly over the summer. The blonde immediately felt self-conscious in her loose tank top and far too short shorts. "Oh, ehm... I-I", she had to force herself not to groan at the fact that she was unable to form coherent sentences. 

Bellamy, who'd finally managed to collect and stop himself from staring at Clarke's legs and the way her neck was showing with her hair up in a bun, coughed awkwardly. "O asked me to help with a heavy box." 

He sounded... indifferent. Bellamy nearly winced at how... bitter he sounded and Clarke felt her throat grow thick with sadness from the sound of it. She couldn't let that show, and therefore she crossed her arms and answered: "We don't need your help, I can manage without it." 

"Clarke, sweetie", Abby cut in, seemingly slightly uncomfortable by being in the midst of... whatever this was. "I'm begging you, please take the help. It will go a lot faster and God knows how much time it will take if we do it ourselves." Clarke opened her mouth to argue but Abby quickly continued. "And no, Wells can't come - he went off to Washington yesterday, and even if he was still here I wouldn't call him over across town to carry a box." Abby swiftly turned to look at the taller twenty-year-old next to her. "The box is on her bedroom floor." 

With a curt nod, Bellamy headed toward the stairs and walked past Clarke without even glancing over at her - despite really wanting to. The girl sighed and looked over to her mother, who was quirking an eyebrow - confused at the sudden change between the kids. Clarke only rolled her eyes and headed up after her friend's gorgeous brother (the person she probably couldn't call her own friend anymore... which was all her fault). 

When she got into her room, she was surprised to see Bellamy crouching next to the box with a grin on his face, holding a book in his hands. The book he gave to her for her birthday last year. 

"You didn't finish it?" he asked and looked up at her, smile still evident on his face. 

Being slightly distracted by the way his eyes crinkle when smiling, having been so long since she last saw it, Clarke only managed to utter: "Wh- huh?" 

Her cheeks flamed as Bellamy's smile turned into a smirk, lifting the book slightly. "That's why you're bringing the book? Because you didn't finish it?" 

"Oh", Clarke smiled hesitantly as she sat down on the other side of the box, trying to distract herself with the books - anything not to look at the older Blake's wonderful face, "I actually finished it a week after you gave it to me... and then again a few months ago." She dragged her fingers across what had been her father's favorite book. "All these books each have an important memory to me, actually." 

She looked up to meet Bellamy's eyes... he was staring right at her, his eyes screaming an emotion she couldn't decipher. "What memory does this hold then?" 

Clarke coughed awkwardly and she felt her cheeks flush. "I- It's just... you know, y-you...", she groaned and grabbed the book out of Bellamy's hands as he grinned and chuckled at her inability to string together a coherent answer. She huffed and put the book back down in the box again. "On my eighteenth birthday, mom and I had a fight because I had gotten drunk the night before with the girls. I was hungover and mom said we just  _ had _ to have that birthday party she had been planning for weeks. So all relatives came over along with some friends, and all I could think was how my head was aching, Jasper and Monty kept trying to steal beers without mom noticing, and I could just feel my dad's absence... It sucked, the whole day. And then you found me hiding out in my room, gave me the book because you remembered how I had talked about wanting to read it but being unable to find it anywhere, and...", she looked up at him - he was still watching her, listening intently, "it made my day." 

"Oh", Bellamy let out, mouth slightly agape. Maybe she did still care about him... was it the book that had made her day, or him?

"Oh?" Clarke repeated with an unimpressed look. 

"I just...", he scratched the back of his neck before looking up at her, dead-serious, "I didn't think it meant that much to you." 

"What?" Clarke looked at him with those big blue eyes, searching for an answer in his dark ones. "How could you say that? Y-  _ it _ means the world to me. You're very important in my life, Bellamy." 

He looked at her for a few seconds... and just then the frustration that had been building all through summer kicked in. 

"You have a funny way of showing it", he grumbled before picking up the box and exiting the room. 

It was heavy, it took all the strength and pride he had not to put it back down or even make a face. He just had to make it to the truck outside, and then he coul-

"Hey!" he sighed as the blonde hurried after him with aggravated steps. "What the hell do you mean by that?" 

Bellamy continued walking down the stairs as he couldn't stop with the box ( _ seriously, how could some books make one box this heavy? _ ). "I  _ mean _ if I'm really so important to you, it's pretty impressive how you managed to go a whole summer without speaking to me." 

At the end of the staircase, Clarke stopped in front of him and pointed a finger in his face - forcing him to stop... with the box from hell. "Don't try to play so fucking innocent, Blake. You haven't spoken to me either."

He would almost have grinned at how much this situation resembled them a few years ago if it weren't for the genuine anger, hurt, and  _ the fucking box! _ He pushed past her and headed outside where Octavia, Aurora, Abby, and now Raven and Echo were standing by the truck. 

"Whatever you say,  _ princess _ ", he spat out as he nearly threw the box on the lawn. "I guess all those get-togethers, parties, and shit that you avoided after finding out I'd be there all summer were just - what? A blunder? Thirteen misunderstandings? Or was that my fault too, somehow? You’ve avoided me all summer and for what?!" 

He turned and looked at her furiously. She had crossed her arms and despite her shorter height, it would be impossible to know who was more dominant in this situation. He took a step closer and looked down at her before practically whispering: "I just wanna know why." 

His voice was even, but his eyes searched her face frantically for any sign of an answer. Instead, she looked at him and felt guilt take over. She couldn't tell him it was because she'd been jealous. Not only was there no way he felt the same way but... the embarrassment of having been avoiding him because he did something she had no right to judge or be angry with him for... yeah, no - better to just stay quiet. She stuttered out the beginnings of different sentences, but nothing real actually came out. Bellamy stared at her before a hard look she didn't recognize took over his face.

"Just what I thought", he hissed as the group of women by the moving truck had realized that something was going on, and had now turned their full attention towards the two. "I mean  _ nothing _ to you." 

And with that, he turned around and hurriedly walked back to his own house - leaving Clarke with an aching heart and a lump in her throat. Her friends hurried over and the older women seemed to be whispering sorely about the situation. 

"What happened?" Echo asked as she put a hand on Clarke's back. "Are you okay?" 

"I'm gonna kill him", Octavia grumbled. "I'm gonna-" 

"No", Clarke spoke up. "This is my fault... His feelings are- he's hurt, and-", she broke off as tears began flooding down her cheeks. "I'm such an asshole." 

\--- 

So moving day wasn't great, but as the group began settling in at Ark University Clarke started feeling a little better. The guilt of making Bellamy think she didn't care about him whatsoever was still tearing her apart, but as school started she had to start focusing on that. Jasper and Monty made it a thing to spend every Sunday in the common room playing video games with their new friends, Fox and Maya. The first few weeks, Clarke, Octavia, Raven, and Harper tried to party as much as possible to say goodbye to Echo since she had planned on leaving for the army... and then Echo's foster brother, Roan, came back from his year abroad and he somehow managed to do what no one else had - make her believe she didn't have to enter the army to be important. So now, instead of being hungover every Sunday, the girls (including Echo) would hang out in the common room with the boys and other two girls. 

About three months into the school year, Clarke had already decided that she hated Josephine Lightbourne in her art history class, she'd dated a girl named Lexa before they decided they were better as friends, primarily because Lexa wasn't over her ex, Costia... and Clarke wasn't exactly ready for a serious relationship with anyone... she still hadn't made any contact with Bellamy, either. It was a Thursday at around 7pm when the worst thing possible occurred. The entire group was sitting cramped in the common room, watching a movie, when Octavia's phone rang. Clarke had time to see that it was the older Blake calling (quickly making her heart skip a beat by just the picture of him flashing up on the phone) before cuddling back into Echo and Maya. Octavia got off the couch and answered. 

"Hey, Bell", she said which earned her a shared hush from the entire group, to which she just gave the finger. "What's up?" 

A beat... and then Octavia dropped her phone before falling to her knees with a loud sob. 

\---

Aurora Blake had died in the hospital at 6:34pm after having fallen asleep behind the wheel on her way home from work. Bellamy had hurried over as soon as he'd been told his mother had been in an accident..., but he hadn't gotten there until it was too late. 

As the other kids had tried to comfort Octavia once she'd gotten the news, Clarke had picked up the dropped phone and asked the older Blake what the hell was going on - not even caring about not having spoken to him in months. So now Clarke was driving Octavia home to the Blake residence where Bellamy would be waiting. She'd let the school know that there had been a death in the family and their friends said they would come over as soon as possible, but O had told them not to worry about it. They arrived at what used to be their homes at around 8:30pm to see Bellamy sitting outside the dark house in just a t-shirt despite it being mid-November. Clarke had barely stopped the car before Octavia was out of it and running towards her brother. She jumped into his arms and they held onto each other whilst sobbing uncontrollably. Clarke felt her heart ache at the sight but decided that she had to be strong here. Octavia had been there for her when her father had died, so now it was her turn to be here for O. 

With a deep breath, Clarke grabbed their suitcases out of her car and brought them into the house without a word to the siblings. It was dark and the house that had always felt so inhabited now felt... cold. The blonde had to shake it off to even move over to the staircase and head upstairs to Octavia's room. On the way, she turned on a few lights so the house wouldn't be covered in complete darkness. After putting the suitcases on the floor of the room Clarke had been in as much as her own growing up, she had to swallow the lump that had taken shape in her throat. 

"I, um-", she jumped at the dark voice behind her and turned to see Bellamy standing in the opening of Octavia's room. He was looking down at the floor and Clarke felt the need to hug him by the sight of his bloodshot eyes and the sniffles that left him involuntarily. "I wanted to thank you... for bringing Octavia. I didn't want her to drive in this state." 

"Of course", Clarke breathed and Bellamy looked up at her, almost carefully. "I would do anything for her...", a breath before she gathered the courage, "and you." 

He swallowed before looking down at the floor again. "Yeah... thanks."

And with that, he walked off again - leaving Clarke alone in the bedroom for a few seconds before Octavia came in and began preparing for bed.

\---

She couldn't sleep. After having held Octavia tightly until she fell asleep, Clarke just laid next to her exhausted friend. Abby was away on a convention with work, so when she'd heard what had happened to her dear friend she had booked the first flight in the morning back home. In the meantime, Clarke was staying with the Blakes... and it was tough. So many great childhood memories existed in the room she was lying in... and yet it was as if she couldn't remember any of them at this moment. All she could remember now was the first time she'd slept over and gotten in a fight with Bellamy, every time she'd seen Aurora smile or cry..., her own cries when her father had died and she couldn't bear the thoughts of being at home, and now the sobs of her best friend over losing her mother. It was consuming Clarke, she couldn't take laying in that bed any longer. 

With careful steps, she got off the bed and headed downstairs. She figured a glass of water could help..., but just as she got to the last step, she heard what sounded like a whimper. A lamp was lit by the couch... and on it, Bellamy was sitting sludged over. A second went by where Clarke was just standing on the last step, hesitating over what she was supposed to do. Apparently, her feet decided for her because within an instant she was standing next to him and putting a hand on his shoulder. 

"Bellamy?" 

He looked up at her like a startled animal before letting out a shaky breath. "It's you... hey." He dragged a hand over his face, drying off the tears. "Everything alright?" 

Clarke sat down next to him, keeping her hand on his shoulder. "Bell... I meant it when I said I'm not only here for Octavia. I'm here for you too..., if you need to talk or... anything." 

A few seconds went by where he was obviously contemplating what to do, and thankfully it ended with his muscles relaxing beneath her fingers. He sludged down again and began sobbing. The sound broke Clarke's heart and she didn't stop herself when she wanted to embrace him this time. He clutched onto her and buried his face in her neck. She could feel his tears making her t-shirt wet, and it only made her hold onto him even tighter. 

"I was too late", he whimpered. "I didn't- I didn't get to say goodbye to her." 

Clarke felt her own tears start to shed and didn't even try to hold it in. She didn't know what to say, she knew there was nothing she  _ could _ say that would make things better, and so she only kept holding onto him - letting him know she was there for him. 

"I'm sorry", he breathed out as he calmed down. 

"No, don't apologize", Clarke told him so quietly only he could hear. She took a shaky breath before getting slightly out of his grip so she could look into his eyes. Sad, hurt, begging..., his eyes were screaming too many emotions for her to fathom. "I think... you need to get to bed." 

Without even thinking, she gently swiped her thumb across his cheek to dry the tears there. His eyes fluttered shut and Clarke took that moment to take in how soft he looked. So small with large bags under his eyes, and his freckles covered in tears. She got so lost in his sorrow-filled beauty that she nearly missed him nodding. He opened his eyes and Clarke had to take a second to even realize that he'd nodded as an answer to her statement. 

Clarke got off the couch and reached out her hand for him to grab - he did instantly. They walked up the stairs and Bellamy followed Clarke into his childhood bedroom that now felt tainted with the pain he felt... and then Clarke climbed into his bed and dragged him in next to her. This whole situation felt so surreal, when he was younger he could only ever dream of having Clarke Griffin in his bed... and now they were both lying in it because the worst possible thing had happened... and yet, as she put her head on his chest and wrapped her arms around him, he felt himself take his first actual breath since he'd gotten that cursed phone call hours earlier. 

\---

It had taken a lot of convincing but eventually, Clarke, Octavia, and Abby had managed to get Bellamy to agree not to dropout of college and instead sell the house, and when the Blakes weren't staying at their dorms they would stay with the Griffins. So a week after the death of Aurora, all the kids' friends had arrived for the funeral as well as the emptying of the house afterward. 

During the funeral, Clarke and Abby sat at the front of the church with Bellamy and Octavia. The priest, Vera Kane, said some lovely things and beautiful music was played... and Clarke had to repress all the memories of Jake Griffin's funeral. It was hard, considering how similar this was to his... the difference was the fewer amount of people at this funeral and the fact that the kids that were left behind were now orphans. Once the funeral was over and Aurora had been buried, Clarke stood by Bellamy and Octavia as they received people's condolences. Eventually, the last ones left were just their friends. Abby came up and kissed Clarke on the cheek before hugging the Blake siblings, and then heading home. 

"Take care of them tonight", she told Clarke as she was getting in her car. "I'll come over tomorrow and help you with the final things that they're gonna keep." 

"Yeah, love you." 

"Love you too, sweetheart." 

As Abby drove off, Clarke hurried back to her group of friends. They were all there, including Maya, Fox, Lexa, and even Wells (he'd become pretty good friends with Octavia as well during their high school years). Just as Clarke got there, she heard as Wells told Bellamy: "I really am sorry for your loss." 

Bellamy shook his hand with a genuine, although small, smile. "Thank you, really. We appreciate you coming, Jaha."

Lexa walked over to Clarke and gave her a light hug. As they let go, Clarke said: "Thank you for coming." 

"Of course", she said in that raspy voice of hers. "I know what it's like to lose a parent." 

"Did we have this one before?" Murphy suddenly piped up, and Clarke rolled her eyes with a chuckle. She looked up to see that he was pointing at Lexa before averting his eyes toward Maya and Fox where they were standing with Octavia. "Or those two? Dear God, have we multiplied?" 

That earned him a laugh from the group, but Raven was quick to jump in - pointing at a girl with black hair that Clarke didn't recognize. "And who's this?" 

The girl smiled, confident and unbothered by Raven's brusque addition to Murphy's normally blunt manner. Although she opened her mouth to answer, Miller jumped in with a smirk. "Murphy's girlfriend." 

"Or Emori, as others like to call me", the girl said with a roll of her eyes. 

"You have a girlfriend?" Harper obviously couldn't keep the surprise out of her voice, which earned her an unimpressed look from the guy in question. 

"Aw", Echo said and walked over to squeeze Murphy's cheeks, "our little boy is growing up." 

He gently shoved her away from him and tried to look pissed, but the pink flush covering his cheeks and the tiny grin that was making its way onto his lips gave him away. Emori smirked and walked over to grab his hand which was just... annoyingly adorable - especially his genuine smile. Jasper was the next one to speak up. 

"So... what did you guys say the plan was for tonight?" 

The plan was to clear out the house with help from the whole group, but before Bellamy could even open his mouth to say that, Octavia jumped in. 

"We're gonna get drunk as fuck!" 

A beat before the group cheered and Clarke exchanged a look with Bellamy who seemed to be struggling to decide if he could smile or if he had to keep the stern 'dad'-look on his face. With a smile of her own, Clarke said: "Actually, we're gonna clear out the house!" 

"Whatever, we can still get drunk", Octavia said. 

"Yeah, we can make it into a drinking game", Harper smiled excitedly. 

"Oh, oh, oh!" Jasper jumped up and down excitedly (until Miller put a hand on his shoulder, saying: "Down, boy.") "Every time someone puts an object in a box they can take a shot of Monty's moonshine!" 

The group began walking towards the cars and Wells leaned over to whisper in Clarke's ear. "That sounds dangerous." 

\---

"Jesus Christ", Abby breathed out as she saw the scene in front of her. 

Raven, Echo, and Fox were lying in a pile on the floor next to the couch where Emori was lying on top of Murphy (he'd thrown a protective arm around her in his sleep). Monty had Harper lying across his stomach on the floor and Jasper and Maya were lying in a similar position close by. Wells was sleeping upright in an armchair and Miller was lying face down on the ground, snoring loudly. Lexa and Octavia had been sleeping in Octavia's bed (although Octavia was sleeping by a toilet at the moment), so they were nowhere to be seen. Roan, who'd joined the party at around midnight (bringing more booze), was sleeping on the stairs. Clarke and Bellamy, who'd shared Bellamy's bed for the past week (totally platonically..., but in secret), had slept there but as neither of them had been drinking nearly as much as the rest of the group, were now in the kitchen. Abby stepped over the plastic wrappings, boxes, and empty liquor bottles - arriving in the kitchen where Clarke was making coffee and Bellamy was frying bacon. She watched the kids as they interacted in whispers as not to wake up their friends - smiling, laughing... and her daughter was definitely blushing. Abby smiled at both of the kids' foolishness and oblivion as she noticed how Bellamy continuously stared at her daughter with a fond look on his face. She almost felt like she was intruding, and felt like she had to make her presence known. She cleared her throat and they both turned around and looked at her. 

"Mom!" Clarke said in surprise. The blonde almost felt ashamed that her mother had to see her like this. Hair a curly mess, wearing Bellamy's t-shirt (she'd been sleeping in those all week), and only wearing a pair of flimsy sleep shorts she'd borrowed off of Octavia - but then she saw her mother's smile, despite the destruction around them, and couldn't help but smile back. Abby had come a long way in accepting that Clarke being happy was more important than anything else. 

Bellamy, who was only wearing a pair of sweatpants (definitely not to show off his abs to Clarke, nope! It's just really warm... in November), also gave Abby a smile. "Morning, Mrs. Griffin. Want some coffee? Breakfast? It's gonna be awhile before everyone else wakes up." 

Abby smiled, considering how the young boy that used to tease her daughter had now grown into a truly wonderful man... and she had to keep from smirking when the thought that her daughter definitely agreed hit her. "I would love some coffee and breakfast, Bellamy." 

Nineteen

Clarke’s birthday was on May 7th and Octavia Blake had practically told Abby, a kind woman who’d let the young brunette live with her, that she had to leave the house for the night so they could have a party there. Clarke, Raven, and Echo had practically choked on their drinks since they’d planned on  _ asking _ her and a hell of a lot less obvious…, but Abby had just said: “Okay, but you guys do the cleaning, make sure nothing is stolen or broken. Stay safe, and if you’re gonna have sex here - stay out of my bed.” 

That was around the time where Clarke yelped of surprise and the other three girls burst out laughing. Octavia and Abby shook hands and now the night was here and the girls were all getting ready in Clarke’s bedroom. 

Raven was putting on a skimpy red dress that made her curves look amazing (not that there was ever a time when they didn’t), Echo had already put on a pair of black leather pants with a loose crop top (fucking hot!). Octavia was wearing a short, tight, black dress showing off her gorgeous legs. Finally, Clarke was wearing a long, black, strapless dress that showed off her awesome cleavage. 

“Hey, Clarke”, Raven started carefully and the girls turned to her. “Is Wells coming tonight?” 

Octavia, Echo, and Clarke all exchanged a smug grin and Raven threw her lipstick at them (only hitting O). Clarke laughed as she pulled a hand through her wavy hair.

“Yeah, he always makes time for me on my birthday”, she answered nonchalantly to which Raven nodded. Clarke smirked as she added: “He also mentioned something about some cute girl he ‘kinda just like really wanna see’, his words. Any idea who that could be?” 

Raven’s cheeks turned almost as red as her lipstick and when her friends laughed and called her cute, she huffed and exited the room (but she felt a small smile on her lips). 

About an hour later, the party was full-go. Clarke had laughed her ass off when Monty and Jasper went down on their knees and bowed to her (to their princess, because of course Bellamy’s nickname would spread). She then laughed harder when the boys’ cheeks went beet red once Raven told them everyone already knew they were dating Harper and Maya, so they could stop pretending not to (it had been going on for two months). Murphy and Emori arrived - Emori hugging Clarke and Murphy practically throwing the present at the blonde before asking where the alcohol was. Although when no one was looking, he came up and congratulated her - telling her he was happy to see her as a friend and that he appreciated her. Clarke nearly cried, because she wasn’t 100% sober and she wasn’t used to Murphy ever being this kind/affectionate with anyone other than Emori. She, of course, forced him to hug her. Wells, Lexa, and Lexa’s girlfriend, Roma came after that. Then Lincoln, a big-ass guy (that looked like he could kill a bear until you got to know him and realized he was a huge softie) from Clarke’s art class (a year older than her), arrived with a bouquet of lilies and a charcoal drawing of the birthday girl that he gave her with a sheepish smile. Clarke gave him a tight hug before she showed him where the drinks were at. Octavia came up to her afterwards. 

“Is love at first sight a thing? Because I think I just experienced it? Please, tell me you’re not in love with him because I think I am now.” 

Clarke snorted as she put the flowers in a vase. “I invited him because he’s my  _ friend _ and because I may or may not know what kind of type you have in guys.” 

Octavia grinned and gave Clarke a hug tighter than the grip of death before hurrying off to flirt, leaving the blonde gasping for air. 

When the party had been going on for two hours (and the house was filled with people), Clarke began to wonder where Bellamy was. Miller had arrived already (without Bryan, apparently they had broken up a while back without her knowing) which was strange since Octavia had said Bellamy would come with him. 

“Hey, sweetheart”, a slimy voice Clarke unfortunately recognized as Cage Wallace from her class at her former private school. He was one of the many reasons she hated it there. The personification of a spoiled brat. “I suppose a ‘Happy Birthday’ is in order.” 

Clarke barely contained a groan. “What are you doing here, Cage?” 

He wore the same self-satisfied disgusting grin he would wear in high school as well. He put a hand on Clarke’s arm and she fought the urge to shove him away from her. “I came here to give you a birthday-gift, of course.” 

Suppressing the need to roll her eyes, Clarke batted her eyelashes instead and put on a sugar sweet tone instead. “Oh? Can I pick what I want it to be?” 

Confused for one moment, and then quickly regaining the same asshole-looking grin he answered in a low voice: “Anything you want, baby.” 

“Great”, Clarke deadpanned as she shook his hand off her arm. “Can you leave?” 

His eyes went dark, but he didn’t stop smiling. Cage had always had that… ‘talent’. Like a child who’s candy was taken away from them, but they didn’t cry or scream because of it. He opened his mouth to say something, but right then Wells draped his arm around Clarke with what anyone could consider a kind smile, but the cold in his eyes gave him away. 

“Wallace, didn’t expect to see you here”, he said and Clarke felt that she could finally smile genuinely. Of course her best friend since birth and her only ally at her private high school would come and save the day. Clarke loved Wells like he was her brother. Before Cage could even respond, Wells cut in again. “Mind if I steal the birthday girl? No? Great!” 

And then they went off somewhere else in the house, where their friends were hovering. Clarke gave Wells a hug from the side before she shoved him and nearly hissed: “Go back and flirt, you doofus.” 

He laughed a little embarrassed, but quickly smirked as he looked behind her. “Same goes for you.” 

When Clarke gave him a confused look, he gestured to where he was looking before hurrying off to where Raven was (definitely) waiting for him. Clarke turned around, her confusion turning into surprise and she had to force herself not to swoon when she saw Bellamy standing there  _ in a fucking white shirt! _ A white shirt with the sleeves rolled up, showing off his amazing arms (which was so not fair), and it wasn’t completely buttoned up. He smiled down at her, sheepishly holding a gift in his hands.

“Hey”, he said. “Sorry, I’m late. My car broke down on my way from work.” 

Clarke grinned up at him before she pulled him down into a hug. He easily hugged her back and she could feel his smile against her neck. As they were holding on to each other, Clarke snatched the present out of his hand before letting go of him with a sneaky grin. Bellamy rolled his eyes, but there was clear fondness in both his smile and his eyes when they landed on her again. 

“Come up with me upstairs”, she said as she grabbed his hand. 

There was not even a second of hesitation before he followed her. When they got into her bedroom, there was already a couple making out there. 

“Ey!” Clarke exclaimed, immediately getting their attention. Both boys going pink. “This is my room and I really wanna open this gift.” She waved the gift slightly, noticing it scrambled a bit. “The bathroom right out here is an awesome make-out spot. Trust me.” 

With embarrassed laughs, the boys hurried out of the room and Clarke closed the door behind Bellamy. She sat down on her bed and patted a spot next to her with a grin before tearing into the gift. 

“So”, Bellamy began as Clarke was struggling with the large amount of tape, “the bathroom’s a good make-out place, eh?” 

The blonde stopped in her movements and looked up at the smirking boy next to her with flushed cheeks. As she realized he was teasing her, she couldn’t help but smile back at him. 

“Why? You and Miller run out of spots?” she quirked an eyebrow and Bellamy laughed loudly. 

“Nah, wouldn’t happen even if I wanted it. Miller told me when he came out that I didn’t have to worry, not that I would, because I’m not his type.” 

“What?” Clarke faux gasped. “But isn’t Bellamy Blake everyone’s type? Oh, God. Life’s upside down! I’ll have to call all the girls from second grade and tell them they were wrong.” 

“Princess”, Bellamy said an octave lower that spread chills all over Clarke’s back, “open the damn gift.” 

With flushed cheeks, Clarke stuck out her tongue at him and returned her attention to the present. Inside were two pens (expensive as fuck), a blue USB, and…

“Oh, my God”, Clarke croaked out at the sight of her father’s smiling face, along with Clarke, Octavia, Bellamy, Aurora, and Abby. “This is from my seventeenth birthday.” 

Her last birthday with her father alive, she couldn’t even remember taking this picture - was probably Echo, she’d been taking photos of everything and everyone at that party. She couldn’t stop staring at the picture for a few seconds, so when a teardrop landed on it she was surprised to realize she’d started crying. 

“Shit, Clarke”, Bellamy breathed, concern evident in his voice. “I wasn’t sure if I should give it to you. I didn-” 

“No”, she cut off with a watery smile directed at him. “I love it. It’s the best birthday gift I’ve gotten. I love it!”  _ I love you! _ The thought surprised her, she’d never considered that what she felt for Bellamy was anything other than a crush… definitely not love. With a shaky breath, she shook that thought away and threw herself in his arms. “Thank you so much.” 

When they let go of each other, they didn’t go far. His arm was still draped around her shoulders and she was snuggled into his side. They sat like that for a while, Clarke soaking in the smell and feel of  _ Bellamy _ , until he suddenly said: “Aren’t you gonna ask what the USB-drive is for?” 

The blonde snorted and looked up at him. “No, based off of your eagerness, I’m guessing you’re gonna tell me anyways.” Bellamy huffed and feigned offense, but Clarke could see right through him and smiled up at his dorky ‘dad’-face as Jasper and Monty would call it. She lightly pinched his cheek, so he’d roll his eyes and grin down at her. “Tell me”, she whispered. 

He nearly died on the spot. Here he was sitting with Clarke motherfucking Griffin, the princess of his dreams, the girl he’d call anytime anything happened - good or bad, the person he could see himself growing old with, the person he knew he loved… and she was looking at him with those eyes, those ocean blue eyes, and whispering in her raspy voice that left shivers all over his body. The only thing he wanted in the world was her, and right now he needed to know what her lips tasted like. He couldn’t even stop his eyes sliding down to them, and when he looked up at her again her eyes were wide. He was afraid for a second that he’d fucked up, but then she smiled and  _ fuck! _ she looked at his lips. 

He was just about to lean down, fuck the USB-drive - he could tell her later, when there was a crash downstairs and a loud yell. They looked at each other before hurrying out of the room and down the stairs. 

A lot of people had moved out to Clarke’s backyard, so the living room wasn’t as flooded as it had been before which made it easy to spot what the problem was. Cage and two of his friends from high school, Dax and Charles, were talking down to some of the group. This was their thing, they would start verbal fights with people that they thought were below them and just wait to get hit because then they could yell something along the lines of ‘wait until my father hears about this!’ 

“What the hell is going on here?” Bellamy’s voice rumbled out across the room. 

“These assholes”, Octavia snarled and glared at each of them, “came on a bit fucking strong on Raven, Echo, and Harper!” 

Cage opened his mouth to say something, but Clarke cut in before him: “Wallace, you were not invited to this party, you’re bothering my friends, and no one wants you here. I suggest you leave before I make you.” 

He let out a crude disgusting laugh before turning and walking towards the blonde. “And what could you possibly do to  _ make _ me leave?” 

Just as he was about to take a step too close, Bellamy stepped in between and hovered over him in a threatening and (in Clarke’s opinion) fucking hot manner. 

“I wouldn’t push my luck if I were you”, he said with a dark voice. “She throws a mean punch.” 

Cage didn’t even bat an eye as he turned to Bellamy instead. “Ah, Bellamy Blake. King of Arkadia High. I remember you.” 

“Funny”, Bellamy countered humorlessly. “I don’t have any recollection of you.” 

“Yes, I remember your family from the paper”, Cage continued as if he hadn’t heard the older man. “Your mother died recently, didn’t she?” 

Clarke could see Bellamy’s muscles flex and his fists tightening. Octavia was being held back in the background of all this by Lincoln (who’d been told before by Clarke that the brunette’s temper and loyalty to her family had gotten her into fights before). Clarke grabbed Bellamy’s arm and stepped in front of Cage. 

“Get the fuck out, Cage”, she hissed at him. “Let’s not forget that my mother and Wells’ father are a lot more powerful than your dad and his paper company.”

Cage’s nostrils flared and Clarke made to turn Bellamy around and shove him upstairs before he’d do something he would regret… and then the idiot talked again. 

“Heard the Griffin’s let you leave here. How that work?” He smiled wickedly. “The princess slumming it until you can afford a place of your own? Or is this just the only way she can get someone to wanna date her? Bribing trash?” 

A second. Clarke felt Bellamy’s muscles flex furiously, Lincoln and Murphy were carrying Octavia out of the room, Raven and Wells were both holding Echo and Lexa back (especially Lexa, who was threatening to take out her pocket knife), Harper, Maya, Monty, and Jasper were making sure that Miller and Emori didn’t do anything either while Roma looked panicked because of the situation. 

A second. Bellamy clenched his fists. Clarke knew that if he punched Cage then he’d get sued, something he couldn’t afford. A second went by before Clarke swung toward the bastard and punched him hard in the face - forcing herself not to wince at the pain that came with it. 

Silence fell over the crowd, Bellamy stood and stared at the blonde as she sucked in the pain before looking at Cage, who was whining and holding his hands over his bleeding nose. 

“Now”, she growled, “get the fuck out of my house!” 

Dax and Charles, who’d just been observing everything, quickly grabbed Cage and practically dragged him out of the house. Just as the door closed, Clarke let out a breath and then, “Fuck! That hurts!” 

\---

Once the guests had left, the group was sitting in the living room. Bellamy was wrapping Clarke’s hand in bandages on the couch, Maya and Harper were sitting in their boyfriends’ laps, Emori was discussing murder plans with Echo and Lexa (and even Roan who’d arrived about a half an hour ago), Roma was sitting between Lexa’s legs and laughing at their ridiculousness and Murphy was just listening with a subtle grin on his face, Raven, Miller, and Wells were talking about what an asshole Cage was, and Lincoln was sitting next to Octavia and giving her tips on how to calm down. 

“Next time I see him, I’m gonna-”, she began, but before Bellamy cut could in with his normal big brother scolding, Lincoln smiled and interrupted her. 

“Then you’re gonna take three deep breaths and imagine what it looked like when Clarke probably broke his nose.” 

Octavia seemed to consider what he said, before reluctantly muttering a ‘fine’. Lincoln beamed down at her which pulled a smile from her, as well. Bellamy stared for a second, having stopped his work on the bandages. Clarke was worried for a second that he might go all ‘over-protective brother’ on them… when he surprised her and Octavia. 

“Can we keep you?” 

Clarke burst out laughing and Lincoln grinned up at the older Blake, Octavia flushed and scowled at him. Lincoln patted Octavia’s hand and turned his attention back to her. “I don’t have a problem with it.” 

Now it was Octavia’s turn to beam, and they started talking privately again. As Bellamy returned his attention to Clarke’s hand, she smiled at him. 

“Would you look at that?” she turned her grin into a smirk. “Bellamy Blake not being an asshole to someone interested in his sister. You’re just full of surprises, aren’t you?” 

He snorted and looked up at her with a smirk of his own, the one that always managed to make Clarke weak in the knees. “You’re one to talk. You just decked a guy-” 

“I didn’t  _ deck _ him.” 

“You’re pretty amazing, princess”, he told her with a fond smile. Clarke’s fair cheeks flushed, and Bellamy’s smile grew before he finished up the bandages. “There. Good as new.” 

Clarke smiled and inspected his work. “Impressive, doctor Blake.” 

He gave her a half-hearted glare that made her laugh. “Hardy-har.” 

Something suddenly came to mind. “Hey”, she said, “you never got to tell me what was on that USB.” 

She was surprised to see the tips of his ears flush red. “Oh… yeah.” He looked around to make sure no one was listening to them before he looked back into her eyes. “It’s playlist with your favorite songs, the songs I think you might like…, and the ones that make me think you.” 

Clarke watched in awe at how his cheeks had turned a light pink, his sudden shyness, and his inability to meet her eyes. She smiled softly, knowing she was falling more in love with him in that moment. 

“You made me a mixtape?” it was barely a whisper and she felt her own cheeks flush. 

Bellamy looked back up at her again and there it was! The same feeling, the same look, the same energy that she’d felt and seen up in her room earlier. Was it just in her head? He couldn’t possibly want to kiss her… right? That question didn’t have time to get answered as Raven and Echo put on music on the loudspeaker. 

“Come on, birthday girl!” Echo dragged her off the couch. “You’re hand might be sprained, but your feet aren’t.” 

Clarke laughed and didn’t need much more convincing to start dancing. Octavia, Emori, and Harper quickly joined them. And then Jasper did as well - absolutely stealing the show. They all laughed, enjoyed the rest of the evening, and Clarke even caught Bellamy looking at her while dancing a few times - but it was probably just in her head. Either way… it was a pretty good birthday in her book. 

Twenty

_ Princess _

_ Won't be coming tonight _

_ Sorry _

_ Group-project with fucking Josephine Lightbourne _ _   
_ _ of all people _

_ I know this is an important night, so I swear _ _   
_ _ I'll make it up to you _

_ Please answer so I won't think you hate me! _

_ Bellamyyyyyyyy _

_ Bell _

_ I was in class, you dork. What is it with you and Octavia and writing _ _   
_ _ so many messages instead of just writing one long text? I'm fine with  _ _   
_ _ you missing the party - I guess I'll just get drunk and cry _

_ Princess _

_ Bellamy! _

_ Bell _

_ I'm kidding, princess. It's fine. Octavia was the one who wanted to _ _   
_ _ have this party in the first place, and I'm just graduating. I'm going  _ _   
_ _ back to school right after summer break anyways. Just let Miller and  _ _   
_ _ Murphy know that you haven't forgotten them... and Emori, although  _ _   
_ _ I'm pretty sure she gives zero fucks _

Clarke smiled down at her phone and quickly sent him a thumbs-up before texting the other three of the situation. She'd just finished writing when an annoying blonde came up next to her. 

"Are we going or what?" 

Clarke rolled her eyes, unable to understand how Gabriel, a friend of Octavia's, could ever date anyone as spoiled as Josephine. Now, Clarke was missing Bellamy's party to celebrate that he... actually, Clarke wasn't completely sure. Octavia had said it was very important that they had this party because it had something to do with the older group-members graduating college and Bellamy deciding on getting his masters..., but everyone was pretty sure Octavia just wanted an excuse to have a party, especially since the graduation wasn't for another three weeks. 

"Yeah, let's g-", Clarke started heading in the direction of the library when Josephine grabbed her arm with a mischievous smile on her face. 

"Hold on... do you have a fake ID?" Clarke raised an eyebrow, before nodding slowly. Josephine smiled widely and leaned way too close to Clarke's face, considering how much Clarke had disliked this girl for nearly two years. "I have a better idea", she whispered. 

\---

They were sitting in some bar close to their college, both pretty tipsy. 

"But you hate me", Clarke suddenly exclaimed after they'd laughed over how Josephine apparently really liked Clarke's body. 

"No", Josephine waved her hand as if to push away that statement, "I'm just-", she groaned and downed the rest of her drink. "You're like really pretty, you're blonde, you're hella smart, and you draw beautifully." 

Clarke tried not to blush. "Dude, it just sounds like you're describing yourself." 

Josie giggled, obviously slightly worse at handling her booze than Clarke. "Pfft, you're smooth. No, I don't have a problem with you being all these things - it's just that I'm not used to... I don't know, feel threatened?" 

Now it was Clarke's turn to laugh. "Josie, you have nothing to worry about. Your personality stands out a whole lot more than mine does, people notice you easier. You have nothing to feel threatened by." 

Josephine smiled for a second before: "I'm glad we did this, I'm sorry I pulled you away from partying with your friends." 

"Well, actually", Clarke smirked and grabbed Josephine's hand, dragging her out of the bar, " _ we _ didn't miss it necessarily." 

They arrived at the beach where the party was going on at around 8:30pm. Lexa was talking with Roan and Echo (she’d broken up with Roma a few months back), Jasper was being thrown into the ocean by Wells and Miller while Maya was laughing on dry land, Emori was on Murphy’s shoulders and Harper on Monty’s and they were wrestling in the ocean, and Octavia, Lincoln, Raven, Bellamy, Gabriel…, and Gina (Bellamy’s super nice, smart, and amazing girlfriend) were standing nearby, talking. 

Josephine immediately ran over and threw herself at an unexpecting Gabriel, who hit the ground as she hit him. Clarke laughed while the others just looked stunned. The group turned to her and she felt her heart swell when they all lit up at the sight of her… especially Bellamy. Octavia looked slightly suspicious, so when Clarke came over she grabbed the ‘original blonde’ and whispered in her ear.

“Lightbourne? Don’t you hate her?” 

Josie answered that question herself as she stood up and smiled at Octavia. “We put aside our differences.” 

The brunette gave Clarke a questioning stare, but relaxed when her friend nodded to confirm that Gabriel’s girlfriend was, in fact, telling the truth. Octavia immediately draped her arm around Josephine’s shoulders and started talking about their shared love for making Professor Sydney’s life a living hell (O had said several times that had Josie not acted the way she did, then she would definitely hang out with her). Wells and Miller quickly came over, just as Octavia and Josephine walked away, but only to grab Raven the way they’d taken Jasper and carried her, squealing, toward the ocean. Clarke tried not to feel that sinking feeling in her stomach that always came over her when she watched Bellamy and Gina hold hands and be loving. Instead, she plastered on a smile (only kind of tipsy) had and focused on her good friend, Lincoln, and Gabriel, who’d both been left by their girlfriends. 

“Hey, Clarke”, Lincoln said with that kind smile of his. 

Her own smile felt a bit more natural. “Hey. You guys do know that those two are gonna be a force of nature now that they’re friends, right?” she gestured to where the two girls were cackling. 

The two men shared a fond smile, making Clarke’s insides ache for someone to love her the way they loved their girlfriends. 

“Clarke!” Echo suddenly called before crashing into the blonde. She was obviously not sober, and Clarke laughed because Echo was an adorable drunk. “We didn’t think you would come! I missed you so much!” 

She was yelling into Clarke’s ear, but the blonde couldn’t find it in her to be annoyed or anything like it. Instead, she just went with Echo when she dragged her toward Roan and Lexa where they were still talking. Clarke quickly got into a discussion about Roan about their experiences with private schools which ended up with them laughing. Clarke had never really talked with just Roan before, but as their discussion faded she realized Echo and Lexa had already left them to it. He was nice, relaxed, and she’d be an idiot not to admit that he was attractive. 

“Oh”, he leaned in and whispered in her ear, sending small tingles down her spine, “don’t look now, but pretty boy’s watching us.” 

Clarke snorted and turned to look at him. “Who?” 

Roan raised an unimpressed eyebrow, as if she was supposed to just understand who he was talking about. “Blake.” 

“What?” she turned around instinctively to see that- yes, Bellamy was standing a few feet away with their friends and his  _ girlfriend _ and he was glaring daggers in Roan’s direction. Once he realized Clarke had caught him, he looked away but she could see his clenched fists. Did he have a problem with her talking to Roan? Why? Anger flooded through her veins. He had no right! She turned back to Roan, who was watching her with interest. “I don’t see why he would.” 

“Mm”, Roan leaned in again, “because he’s jealous.” 

She wanted to argue. Bellamy wouldn’t get jealous because she might be flirting with someone, he had a girlfriend… and he didn’t care for her that way. There was that time when she thought they would kiss…, but then they didn’t and they never mentioned it again… and then he got a fucking  _ girlfriend! _ Instead of arguing, Clarke just smirked and leaned closer to Roan as well. 

“Is there anything to be jealous of?” 

\---

_ He kissed her one final time before falling down on the bed next to her. She panted and when she realized he was too, she grinned over at him. His unruly curls were falling in his eyes and he grinned back at her. She crawled over so she could lie on his chest before pressing several kisses on his tanned chest. When she looked up, he was looking at her with those dark eyes and with that fond smile she’d always wished to be the reciprocal of. He opened his mouth…, but no words came out.  _

_ “Huh?” she could hear her own voice, but no matter what his voice was completely muted. “Be-”  _

She woke up. A strange arm that belonged to someone that wasn’t the man she’d been dreaming about. She’d told Roan as they made their way to his bedroom that she wasn’t looking for anything serious to which he’d just said, “I know.” 

He was good, definitely above average…, but another face kept popping up during. With a shaky breath, Clarke made her way out of bed and put on her clothes. She’d just put on her bra and jeans when his voice made her nearly jump out of her skin. 

“You okay?” 

She turned around to see Roan lying on his side with the comforter only covering the lower parts of his body. He was watching her and she couldn’t be sure if that was concern that she noticed in his eyes. 

“Yeah, but I don’t wanna overstay my welcome.” 

“Mhm… so it’s not guilt then?” 

If looks could kill, Roan Azgeda would be dead by now. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

He snorted. “Of course, so Bellamy Blake didn’t have anything to do with you coming with me home?” She opened her mouth to argue, but he was faster. “I’m not judging you, Clarke. I wouldn’t have taken you home if I didn’t believe you actually wanted to… but you shouldn’t feel guilty. He’s-” 

“Got a girlfriend”, she cut off bitterly. “I know.” 

“No”, he gave her a look as if he was tired, “ _ he _ should feel guilty.” 

“What?” Clarke sat down next to him on the bed, not even caring she wasn’t wearing her t-shirt yet (he’d seen her in less). “Why?” 

“Because he’s dating one girl while being in love with another. And before you start acting dumb, yes - I mean you.” 

He said it so simply as if it were obvious… like it wasn’t supposed to make her brain feel all fuzzy. She took a breath before basically just whispering: “I had sex with you despite being in love with someone else.” 

“You feel guilty  _ and _ you immediately warned that you didn’t want anything serious”, he practically scolded her. Clarke huffed a laugh, she didn’t know Roan really cared about anyone other than Echo…, but he actually seemed to consider Clarke a friend. “Now, come on. Go back to sleep, I promise I’ll make you some coffee tomorrow, and we never have to speak of this again.” 

Clarke smiled and considered it for a little while before unclasping her bra again and pulling off her pants. “Scoot over.” 

Roan gave her one of his rare smiles before making more room for her on the bed. Once they were both under the covers, she reached out her hand to him. 

“Friends?” 

He chuckled before shaking her hand. “Friends.” 

\---

She arrived back at campus around 10am (Roan did indeed keep his promise of making coffee and it was delicious). She’d cleaned her face, borrowed a toothbrush, put her curls in a really messy bun, and put on the clothes from the night before - kissing Roan’s cheek and then leaving. He told her that if she ever needed him to kick Bellamy’s ass for being an idiot, he’d happily do it. 

She was just about to head to her dorm when she walked past the common room- and stopping. On the couch, Murphy, Miller, and Bellamy were sitting and playing video games. When Murphy saw Clarke, he whistled and paused the game. 

“Yo, Griffin!” he called even though she’d already started making her way into the room. “Is that the Walk of Shame I see?” 

She blushed although being unable to contain a laugh. Miller and Murphy were both smirking while Bellamy refused to look her way. He knew it was dumb. He knew he had no right. That didn’t mean he wasn’t fighting the urge to beat Roan to a pulp. 

“Does it have to be ‘of Shame’?” Clarke grinned. “What are you guys even doing here?” 

“Octavia yelled at us when we said we’d drive home”, Miller answered with a shrug. “Told us to sleep here instead.” His smirk returned. “So, Roan, eh?”

Clarke rolled her eyes, she didn’t even blush - she didn’t have those feelings for him after all. She sat down on the arm of the couch next to Murphy. Not that she would ever admit it, but she kind of enjoyed the way Bellamy’s jaw clenched. 

“I guess”, she answered coyly - not bothering to say that it was just a one time-thing (that wouldn’t be as fun). 

“You sure that’s really appropriate?” Bellamy suddenly spoke up. 

Murphy and Miller turned to look at him with exasperated looks (their friend truly was an idiot). Clarke felt her blood begin to boil. 

“Excuse me?” her voice was hard, preparing for war. 

Miller sighed and leaned back in his seat to get out of the war zone while Murphy did everything he could not to make a snarky comment. He knew better than anyone else never to get in between a fight between mom and dad. 

Bellamy turned to look at Clarke with a similar hard expression on his face. “Well, considering he’s practically Echo’s brother, is it really appropriate for you to just sleep with him?” 

Okay, her blood was definitely boiling now. How dared he? She used all her willpower not to show him he was getting under her skin. 

And yeah, he knew he was being a dick. He wasn’t sure what had gotten into him. If he could take it back, he would - but he couldn’t find it in himself to apologize. He was a stubborn asshole. 

“Why?” Clarke’s voice was cold causing Bellamy to wince internally. He couldn’t remember the last time she’d used that tone with him. “You slept with  _ her _ despite being  _ Octavia’s  _ brother.” 

All three boys reacted; Miller and Murphy cringing at the fact that they were in the middle of this. It wasn’t even like their old bickering that would make them laugh. This was dripping with denial, jealousy, and hurt. Bellamy’s mind screamed for him to apologize, he’d lost this fight before it even started… and yet-

“Whatever you say,  _ princess _ ”, he said it with such venom, Clarke could feel tears begging to be freed. 

She stood up abruptly and glared daggers at him. “Fuck you, Bellamy.” 

She then left with angry steps, not letting the tears fall until she got to her dorm. Meanwhile, Miller smacked Bellamy in the back of the head and called him an idiot. 

“Whatever”, he muttered before throwing his controller on the ground and leaving. 

Once Clarke got inside their dorm, she was met by Raven, Echo, Octavia, and Harper lying in Clarke’s bed, watching a movie on Raven’s computer. When they saw her, they all stopped in their tracks. 

“Clarke?” Harper spoke up. “You okay, sweetie?” 

Clarke was just about to nod and just let it go, when a sob escaped her. Octavia flew to her feet and hurried over to Clarke, who practically fell to the ground. The next thing she knew, she was suddenly lying in her bed with all four girls looking at her worriedly. 

“Did Roan do anything?” Echo asked with concern and worry in her voice. She hoped that her foster brother hadn’t done anything, she loved him…, but she’d known Clarke longer and she knew Roan’s parents. “Did he-” 

Clarke cut her off, shaking her head. “No, he was really nice. He was great. So fucking… kind, to my surprise.” Clarke was rambling as the tears had stopped coming, but the lump in her throat was still there. “Bellamy’s just a fucking dick.” 

Octavia groaned angrily, getting all eyes on her. She didn’t stay long enough to explain her anger. Instead, the brunette flew to her feet and stomped out of the room with fury, muttering: “I’m gonna kill him.” 

\---

“What the fuck is your problem?” Octavia yelled as she entered the apartment Bellamy had just gotten with Miller. Her brother was sitting on the couch, slumped over and with his face in his hands. “Why did my best friend just come into our room, bawling her eyes out!” Bellamy opened his mouth to reply, but Octavia beat him to it. “Let me guess! Is it because she slept with Roan? Is it because you’re an asshole? Is it because you can’t handle the fact that you love her and no one is to blame for the predicament you are in, other than yourself?!” 

Bellamy looked at his sister for a few seconds before getting to his feet and walking towards the closest wall nearby, punching it soundly. Octavia didn’t even react, she just watched her brother hit the wall a few more times before turning around with subtle tears in his eyes. That brought her to a halt. 

“I know!” he basically screamed. “I know I’m an asshole! I know this is all my fault! I can’t- I don’t know what to do!” 

Octavia shuffled on her feet. “Well, you could start by stopping stringing Gina along. She’s really nice…, but you don’t love her.” 

Bellamy huffed frustratedly and dragged a hand across his face, wiping his tears in the process. “That won’t be a problem. She broke up with me last night.” He sat back down on the couch in the same position as before. “Said it was unfair to her to be dating when I was  _ obviously _ in love with someone else.” 

Octavia sat down next to her brother, grabbing his injured hand. “She’s smart.” She took a few seconds of hesitation before continuing. “It’s not only unfair to her, you know.” 

Bellamy looked over at his sister, she had this soft look in her eyes. With a shaky breath, he asked, “What do you mean?” 

Octavia smacked him in the back of head, surprising him out of the sadness, and replaced the soft look with a fierce one. “It’s unfair to you too, you idiot!” 

“Ow”, he exclaimed. “You and Miller need to stop hitting me!” 

“Bell”, Octavia sighed, “you need to stop… I don’t even know what you’re doing at this point, but it’s not healthy. You’re in deep denial and- Fine, you don’t have to do anything about your feelings…, but don’t do anything because you feel like you have to. Just continue to pine until you guys either get your shit together or you manage to…”, this time she cut herself off. She wasn’t sure how she was supposed to phrase it. Bellamy did though. 

“Move on.” He gave his sister a reassuring smile when he saw how she was struggling with how to handle this situation. “It’s fine, O. You’re right.” 

She smiled and leaned her head on his shoulder. He kissed her on top of the head before leaning his head hers. A few minutes went by before Octavia spoke again. 

“You know… I’m gonna need the fact that you said I was right, in writing.” 

Bellamy huffed a laugh and got off the couch. “Hardy-har.” 

“God, you’re old.” 

“Brat.” 

\---

_ Bell _

_ Hey _

_ Princess _

_ Hey _

_ Bell _

_ Clarke, I’m really sorry for how I acted. _ _   
_ _ I didn’t mean any of it, I was just in a really bad _ _   
_ _ mood and I guess I’m still used to taking _ _   
_ _ it out on you. That’s a terrible excuse, I know, _ _   
_ _ but I just… I’m really sorry, okay? _

_ Princess _

_ It’s fine. Octavia told me about Gina. I’m _ _   
_ _ sorry she broke up with you and I forgive _ _   
_ __ you for acting like a dick

_ Bell _

_ Thanks _

_ Princess _

_ You could make it up to me, you know _

_ Bell _

_ Oh, really? _

_ Princess _

_ Chinese and true crime-docs? _

_ Bell _

_ I’ll order the usual _

Twenty-two

“Second graduation is coming up”, Abby practically sing-songed as she put the plate of pancakes on the table. “Third for you, Bellamy.” 

Brunch. Something that had become a custom for Abby, Clarke, Bellamy, and Octavia (although Lincoln, Echo, Raven, Jasper, Miller, Harper, Monty, and Wells would most oftenly crash it - like today) every third Sunday a month after Aurora’s death. Abby loved to have all the kids over, to take care of them. Most of the kids didn’t have the homelife you would like kids to have and the fact that they still wanted to come over like when they were younger made her heart ache. Normally, Murphy and Emori would come as well, but they had a meeting with their landlord. Josephine and Gabriel, who would come with occasionally, were having lunch with her parents. Lexa and Maya still had one final test each that they needed to prepare for, and Roan rarely came to these things. 

Bellamy flushed. “It’s not really graduation when I get my master’s.” 

“Oh, shush”, Octavia scolded him before turning to Abby. “What he means to say is, ‘Yes, and I would love for you to throw me a party!’” 

“Octavia!” Bellamy exclaimed, very uncomfortable with the way this discussion was going. “Please, stop.” 

Octavia stuck her tongue out at her brother while Harper, Echo, and Raven snickered. Clarke shot the older Blake a sympathetic look while Miller, Monty, and Jasper started talking about what kind of party they could possibly throw that would be more epic than all the other ones they’d had. Lincoln and Abby began discussing his new job at the art museum. Octavia jumped in and started talking about how she was moving into his apartment right after graduation. Raven and Wells then started talking with Monty and Harper about their plans for the summer while Echo took over Monty’s place in the discussion on what to do for the big graduation celebration. 

“I think my mom loves you more than me”, Clarke whispered into Bellamy’s ear. 

He grinned over at her before leaning down and whispering back, “Can you blame her? I’m pretty awesome.” 

“Wow”, Clarke feigned impression, “you’ve gotten pretty cocky considering a few years ago, you were sure she hated you.” 

“What can I say?” He directed a smirk in Clarke’s direction. “My charm is just undeniable.” 

Clarke snorted, but didn’t deny it. The brunch went on like that. Everyone talking, enjoying themselves. Echo and Clarke had decided about a month ago that they would get an apartment together after graduation, so Abby was very interested in talking about that. After about an hour of  _ that _ , the young adults were getting ready to leave. 

“I’ll see you in two weeks”, Abby gave her daughter a peck on the cheek. 

Clarke smiled. “Yeah, love you, mom.” 

She got in the back of Lincoln’s car with Bellamy and Miller with Octavia in the front. Echo was getting a ride with Wells, Raven, and Jasper while Monty and Harper were meeting up with Monty’s parents. Clarke sat in the middle with Miller to her right and Bellamy to her left. 

“You’re mom’s pretty cool, Clarke”, Miller said once they got on the road. “When we were younger, I thought she was scary - but she’s actually really nice.” 

Clarke and Octavia laughed, they loved being reminded of how the boys would freeze up whenever Abby came around when they were younger. 

\---

_ They were sitting by the water-clearing as usual, seeing who could skip rocks the furthest. Octavia was increasingly better than Clarke. They were thirteen and they’d just realized that this place in the woods was the perfect place to get away from Octavia’s annoying older brother. Of course, he still found them.  _

_ “Hah!” he startled them just as Clarke had failed in skipping her rock. The two girls turned around to see fifteen year old Bellamy, Miller, and Murphy striding over. Miller had a wooly hat on (despite it being May), Murphy was using a stick to violently hit every tree he walked by, and Bellamy had a smirk on his face that he’d only recently perfected to get the girls in school to fall for him. “You suck at that, princess. Want me to get your mom? She can probably do it for you, just like she does with everything else.”  _

_ Clarke bristled and she opened her mouth to respond when another voice suddenly called out.  _

_ “Clarke? Octavia?” it was Abby and she was getting closer. Murphy stopped whipping the tree, Miller’s otherwise emotionless face changed into panic, and Bellamy seemed to freeze up on the spot. The older woman in question came into focus for the kids a few seconds later. “Oh, hello boys.”  _

_ Miller mumbled something that could have been a greeting while kicking some dirt, Murphy seemed to try and hide behind one of the trees, Bellamy looked like he wanted to disappear all while Clarke and Octavia snickered. Abby knew, she wasn’t clueless - she knew the boys were pretty scared of her. Did she like it? Definitely.  _

_ “Mrs. Griffin”, Bellamy greeted while staring at his feet.  _

_ Abby forced herself to hold back a grin of her own, especially when she noticed the girls failing with that exact task. She turned to them instead.  _

_ “I made lunch.”  _

_ “Great!” Octavia threw the rest of her rocks in the lake in her excitement, making it splash all over Clarke.  _

_ “O!” she squealed. Bellamy had to force himself not to smirk or make a snarky remark about it in the presence of the princess’ mother, but Clarke still saw his expression and directed a glare at him. “We’ll be right there, mom.”  _

_ Abby nodded and made to walk off, but turned to the boys one final time. “You’re all welcome to join as well.”  _

_ There was a coldness in her tone that not everyone would notice, but Bellamy definitely did. He swallowed before meeting the woman’s eyes.  _

_ “No, thank you, Mrs. Griffin.”  _

\---

Clarke and Octavia laughed at the memory, Lincoln tried to keep from laughing at his brother-in-law, Miller was pretending not to smile, and Bellamy was shooting half-hearted glares in Clarke’s and his sister’s direction. 

“It’s not funny”, he grumbled, making them laugh harder. “She hated me!” 

“Oh, please”, Clarke said in-between laughs. “You were being an asshole to her daughter.” 

Bellamy smirked down at her. “You saying I’m  _ not _ an asshole anymore, princess? You humble me.” 

She rolled her eyes, but couldn’t stop smiling either way. The rest of the car ride was spent with Octavia and Lincoln talking about their soon-to-be living arrangements, Miller texting someone whose identity he refused to reveal, and- oh right! Clarke falling asleep with her head against Bellamy’s shoulder. About ten minutes into the drive, he felt something like a thunk against his arm and shoulder. He prepared a joke about how she just couldn’t keep her hands off of him with the belief that she’d just lost her balance in a turn…, but then he’d seen her in deep sleep. 

Her face was so relaxed. Her blonde hair falling along her shoulders like a halo. Every other minute, her nose would get scrunched up adorably. He loved her. Sometimes he wished he didn’t…, but Gods, he truly did. Once he made sure no one was watching, he carefully draped his arm around her instead before closing his own eyes. The only indication that Clarke noticed the change was when she hummed before burying herself closer to his chest. Bellamy Blake could not remember ever trying so hard not to smile. A few minutes later, he was also asleep and Octavia took a picture of them with a grin. 

(When the two woke up, they both blushed furiously and then went on to never mention it again - to Octavia’s annoyance.)

\---

“Happy Graduation Celebration!” Echo yelled as she opened the champagne bottle Roan had brought. “I’m looking forward to you guys getting successful and taking care of me!”

The day of their graduation. Clarke, Octavia, Raven, Harper, Monty, Jasper, Fox, Maya, and Lexa were all officially out of college and now they were standing in the Griffin - backyard getting champagne sprayed on them (Josephine and Gabriel were celebrating with her parents). All their parents were standing in the background, looking proud. Wells and Lincoln were taking about a hundred pictures, Roan, Emori, and Murphy were handing out moonshine to everyone (including the parents), Miller was standing with Abby’s co-worker, Jackson (who he’d apparently met at the hospital after he broke one of his fingers and was apparently the person Miller was now dating), and Bellamy was holding up the same sign that he’d held up during the ceremony. It said, “You made it out of prison and now you made it out of college! Yay, Octavia!” She’d nearly murdered her brother while at the same time being unable to laugh her ass off while getting her diploma. 

At around 11pm, everyone was well and tipsy. Clarke was standing and talking with Echo about the apartment they were getting (Abby was gonna help, but considering Clarke was starting her new job at the same art museum that Lincoln worked at and Echo already had a bartending job, they weren’t worried) when Octavia came up to them sniffling. 

“I hate him”, she slurred. “So unfair.” 

Echo and Clarke exchanged a look before Echo asked the clearly drunk girl, “Who do you hate, sweetie?” 

She looked at the other brunette with exasperation, as if they were supposed to know. “Bellamy!” 

Clarke furrowed her eyebrows. “Why?” 

Octavia sighed and leaned against Clarke’s arm (more like laid all her weight on the blonde). “He got a job offer in like… New York, or California, or something.” 

Ignoring the want to laugh because… O was apparently terrible at geography when she was drunk, Clarke instead felt her heart sink. “What? Is he gonna take it?” 

“Why else would I be sad?” Octavia groaned. 

Clarke was planning on asking more (because he wouldn’t take a job somewhere far away without mentioning it to her, would he? … maybe he would, maybe she was still just his little sister’s friend and nothing more), but then Lincoln came around and Octavia went from sad to ecstatic and threw herself in her boyfriend’s arms. 

The next few seconds were kind of a blur, Clarke wasn’t sure how she felt at first. Was she sad? Disappointed? Empty? She didn’t even know how she ended up in her kitchen, but when she saw Bellamy laughing with Wells, Raven, Murphy, and Lexa, she realized exactly what she felt. Angry! 

Without a second thought, she just grabbed his arm and dragged him after her. He didn’t complain or get out of her grip. She heard Murphy say, “Oh, shit. Mom is mad.” 

She ignored him and she ignored Bellamy every time he tried to ask her what was going on. Ignoring every thought in her mind, and every emotion besides anger, she made her way up the stairs and into her room with Bellamy in tow before slamming the door behind her. She let go of him and turned furious eyes on him. He seemed to be building up some anger as well. She understood why. She had just dragged him across the house in a fury without a word…, but she didn’t care. Fighting was what they did. If he was gonna leave, she wasn’t gonna be sad. No, she wanted to have fought with him and just be angry instead. 

“What?” he grumbled. “Is there a reason why you pulled me away from our friends out of nowhere?” 

Clarke wasn’t drunk. She wasn’t even close, but she had been drinking a little, so the small confidence she got from the moonshine also made her lose her tact. 

“You’re just gonna move away without a word to me?!” 

Okay…, normally, Clarke would deflate when Bellamy looked so confused but now it only fueled her anger. 

“What?” 

“Octavia told me!” she was yelling now. “You got a job somewhere across the country! Were you just- never gonna tell me?” 

There was some vulnerability in the last phrase, something Bellamy picked up on immediately. He took a step closer to her as if she were a wild animal. “Princess… I’m not going anywhere. I got a job in Polis… which is a ten-minute drive away.” 

Yeah,  _ now _ Clarke deflated. “Wh- O said you got a job in New York or California…” 

Bellamy snorted and sat down on Clarke’s childhood bed. “Wow, she sucks at geography.” Clarke forced herself not to smile at the fact that she’d thought the exact same thing. She was flushing with embarrassment. “That was-” Bellamy looked at her warily. 

“I know”, Clarke cut off, staring at her feet. “Sorry… I shouldn’t have acted like that.” 

“Why did you though?” 

She looked up at him in surprise. He wasn’t kidding, completely serious. Clarke gulped and looked back down at her feet. 

“I don’t know”, she mumbled. “I guess I was just afraid of-” she cut herself off. She couldn’t possibly tell him. 

“What?” Bellamy stood up and walked a few steps toward her. “What were you afraid of? Because I don’t believe that you don’t know.” 

She didn’t wanna have this conversation, this was dangerous. Had he been leaving, maybe, but she couldn’t possibly tell him now when they were gonna stay in each others’ lives. She shook her head. 

“I don’t-” 

“Gods, Clarke!” Bellamy exclaimed as he turned around and paced in frustration. “You can’t- You do know!” He looked at her with almost pleading eyes. “You- Fuck!” 

She wasn’t sure what to say, she’d never seen Bellamy like this. He gave off the impression that if she asked, he’d kneel before her. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“No”, Bellamy mumbled as he dragged a hand across his face. “Don’t apologize… I just- I don’t get it, Clarke. Monty and Harper are moving away, so is Jasper and Maya… You were just happy for them. Why would you get this upset because I-” 

“It’s not the same!” Clarke proclaimed as tears began welling in her eyes. It was true, all four of them were moving away, and that hadn’t bothered her. “You- It’s not the same.” 

That wasn’t good enough, they both felt it. That wasn’t what either of them wanted to hear nor say. Bellamy wouldn’t push like this otherwise, but he couldn’t keep getting his hopes up and then just try and forget. 

“You’re right”, Bellamy mumbled. “It is different. You’ve been friends with Monty, Harper, and Jasper longer and your relationship with Maya has always been peaceful. It’s different because it doesn’t make any sense.” 

Clarke huffed and wiped away the tears that had filled her eyes. “Why does it matter?” 

“It matters!” Bellamy asserted. 

Clarke crossed her arms like a petulant child. “Why?” 

“Clarke”, he begged, “it matters.” 

“Why?!” she exclaimed, trying to protect her feelings. 

“Because I love you!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yup. i know. cliffhangers should be illegal. i hate them myself. and yet-


	3. Rest of Our Lives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They figure out their shit

Twenty-two still

Is it possible for your heart to stop and your brain to malfunction all at once without dying? Clarke was pretty sure that was happening to her right now. She’d desperately wanted to hear those three words come out of the older Blake’s mouth for years. Dreams of it had taunted her and she’d only ever been able to imagine what it would feel and be like to be the reciprocant of that confession. And yet- she had never really expected it to be shouted at her in the midst of an argument that she’d started because she was dumb, emotional, and - despite barely having been drinking - got a lot of confidence from alcohol. 

Bellamy seemed to have died inside and was now regretting his own existence, based on the chant of profanities exiting his mouth while he banged his head against the wall. The shock wore off and Clarke felt her throat clench. He couldn’t possibly mean-

“In what way?” her voice was barely above a whisper. 

Bellamy stopped his ministrations toward his skull and turned to look at her. He probably thought it was a dumb question, but she needed to know. She needed it practically spelled out for her. This wasn’t something she could afford to misinterpret. 

The look on her face, the vulnerability in those blue eyes he’d fallen for… it sparked some hope within him. He’d already gotten this far, right? It was time to stop being a coward. 

“Clarke, I-”, he heaved a sigh and willed himself not to cave. “I love you in the way I have never loved anyone else. I love you in a way that kills me and keeps me alive at the same time. You are the only one I’ve ever felt this way about and I love you in the way that I want to be yours. Your lover, partner, friend, any way you will have me.” 

Clarke’s breath hitched and she realized that tears were streaming down her face. Bellamy was staring down at the floor and shuffling his feet, so nervous in contrast to the confident words that he’d just uttered. He’d been brave for her… she could do the same for him. Taking a deep breath, Clarke walked up to him and only hesitated for a second before cupping his face in her hands - making him look at her. There were tears in his eyes as well, and Clarke felt her chest clench at the sight. She brushed away the tears that escaped down to his cheeks with the pads of her thumbs. 

“Bellamy”, she breathed, her face so close to his. He could feel her breath against his chin and lips. “I love you too.” 

His eyes widened, unable to comprehend the words completely. He’d been bracing himself for rejection. Once the reality of her words finally made its way through his thick skull, he cracked a smile so wide Clarke was almost worried it would hurt. It was so dopey and adorable, Clarke felt herself grin back, probably looking just as ridiculous. 

“Yeah?” he leaned forward so his nose was brushing hers. 

She fought the urge to roll her eyes. “Of course I do.” 

His hands came up to gently cup her cheeks as his smile faded and his face took on a soft expression. Clarke felt her breath hitch as he leaned forward and her whole body pulsated with excitement. He was slow, but when his lips finally pressed against hers it was electric. Soft, tender, slow…, but there was an underlying fire burning within every move they made. Her arms circled around his neck, his right hand made its way into her hair and his left used its thumb to stroke her cheek. It was… magical. There was no other way to describe it. Every brush of their lips was delicate and romantic. 

When they pulled away to breathe, Bellamy rested his forehead against hers again. 

“Wow”, she sighed. 

Bellamy grinned beautifully and impulsively kissed her nose. He could now, he could kiss her if he wanted to now - and there would never be a time when he  _ didn’t _ want to. 

“Yeah”, he breathed as he started nuzzling her cheek. “Wow, indeed.” 

Clarke was surprised by his physical affection. The way he was twirling a strand of her hair with his right hand, stroking a path from her cheek to her collarbone and then up again with his left, and nuzzling and kissing her all over her face. It was so loving and earnest… Clarke had no doubt in her mind that he was indeed in love with her. And  _ that _ \- there was no greater feeling than knowing for sure that the man you loved, loved you as well. 

“Bell”, she made a noise similar to a moan which woke him up from whatever trance he was in. He started kissing her neck, sucking on her pulse point, and letting his left hand travel down to her spine. Clarke definitely moaned this time. “Bellamy.” 

“Clarke”, he groaned into her neck before lifting his head and looking at her. The pure passion, hunger, and desire in his eyes were enough to make her weak in the knees. He was hungry for  _ her _ . No one else. 

They crashed their lips together, no longer soft and gentle. This was just pure lust and yearning - their tongues dancing together in a straight-up dirty manner. Clarke started tugging at Bellamy’s shirt as he let his hand wander her body. He smiled against her lips before pulling away to shrug the shirt off. 

“Greedy”, he murmured before devouring her mouth again. 

Clarke grinned as she touched all the newfound muscled skin. “Can you blame me? It’s been years, Bellamy. Years.” 

He pulled away and looked at her, causing her to whimper in his absence. He was in shock. 

“Really?” he said, sounding as if in awe. “Years?” 

Clarke flushed slightly and looked down at their feet. “Yeah.” 

Bellamy kissed her nose again, getting her to look back up at him. “We have been so fucking stupid.” She felt herself relax and giggled, because- yeah. They had. “We could have been doing this for years.” 

Clarke raised an eyebrow, a challenge, before pulling off her dress in one move. “Then let’s not waste any more time.” 

She was in nothing but a pair of regular black panties, a black strapless bra, and her boots. Bellamy’s eyes grew dark and his jaw clenched. Just as Clarke began to feel embarrassed he looked up at her. 

“ _ You’re _ greedy? Have you seen yourself? If you’re greedy, I’m fucking pathetic. Every summer when you’re in a bikini, I fucking die. And now this… I’m gonna be a fucking mess.” 

Clarke giggled and hid her face in her hands as her cheeks flushed a deep crimson (of course, it spread down her chest, so Bellamy saw either way). She smiled up at him, he grinned back down at her. 

“Technically, you were the one who called me greedy”, she quirked an eyebrow. “Now, do you wanna take my bra off, or should I?” 

A wicked grin made its way onto his face before he pulled her flush against him and crashed their lips together again. 

\---

“Hey”, Harper hurried over to where Echo, Octavia, and Lincoln were talking. “Have you guys any idea what’s going on with Bellamy and Clarke? Murphy just said that ‘Mom is murdering Dad’ before he and Emori left.” 

Octavia snorted. “They’re either banging or yelling right about now. I threw some wood in the fire.” 

“Dear God”, Monty came up behind his girlfriend with Jasper and Maya in tow, throwing an arm around the blonde. “What did you do?” 

“Yeah”, Jasper was jumping excitedly on the spot, “what did you do?”

Echo, who had already laughed about this, cut in before Octavia could answer. “Pretended to be drunk, lied that Bellamy was moving far away without telling Clarke, and then just leaving.” She turned to the sly younger Blake. “Couldn’t you at least have come up with an actual location?” 

She shrugged with a smirk. “Meh, it worked, didn’t it?”

\---

“So… you do know that your sister definitely lied and made this happen, right?” 

She was lying with her head on his bare chest while he was tracing patterns across her spine. He snorted at her claim. 

“Oh, yeah. 100 percent”, he kissed her hair. “I’ll be sure to thank her later.” 

Clarke flushed but still turned to roll her eyes at him. “You’re such a sap.” 

“Yeah”, he grinned smugly, “but you  _ love _ me.” 

She grinned so widely and just… fuck. He loved her, he really fucking loved her. He probably looked like an idiot as he watched her and the way her eyes fluttered when he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, but he didn’t care. She was smiling and she loved him - that was all that mattered. 

“When did you know?” she asked, waking him up from his gazing (staring, but whatever). At his confused look, she blushed. “When did you know how you felt?” 

He smiled at her flushed cheeks. “That I like you or that I love you?” 

She seemed to consider the question for a few seconds before answering firmly, “Both.” 

Bellamy chuckled, she was still the same bossy princess - fuck, he was such a sap. “Well…, I realized I might like the princess next door”, a smack on the chest, “that summer when you started dating the Backstreet Boy.”

Two seconds went by where she was just staring at him in confusion before she burst out laughing. “ _ Backstreet Boy _ ?” She giggled so wonderfully and she quickly pressed a quick kiss to his chest, and if she felt his heart increase in speed a bit… well, then that would just explain why his ears tinged a bright red. “So, how did you realize it? You were jealous of  _ Finn _ ?” 

“Meh”, Bellamy seemed to be thinking about how to phrase his next statement, not noticing how his hand stroking Clarke’s spine and waist was driving her insane. “It was more that- I don’t know, I think I saw how much you’d grown, you got hot”, a smack to the chest, “and then a few months later you helped me with my college essays… you just made it impossible for me not to fall for you. I just assumed it was attraction or a crush, though.” 

Clarke gave him a soft smile as she crawled further up his chest so they were face to face and she could give him a tender kiss. Bellamy smiled against her lips, hugging her - crushing her body against his chest with his strong arms. 

“When did you realize you love me then?” she asked against his lips when they pulled apart. 

“You’ll tell me your versions after?” when she nodded, he smiled. “I… I think I fell in love with you before, but I didn’t admit it to myself until the week my mom died.” She widened her eyes in surprise but didn’t say anything. “I don’t… I don’t know if it was the way you showed that you actually cared, the way you took care of Octavia, how you convinced me not to drop out, or just the way it felt to have you back after not having seen you for so long… but it just hit me, like ‘Fuck… I love her, don’t I?’”

Clarke smiled and her eyes held this look of awe in them. “My attraction towards you started around the same time as yours did… remember the time you walked in on me in Octavia’s room?” Bellamy grinned wildly and nodded. “So, yeah”, she giggled nervously, “then…, but I didn’t admit it to myself until my dad’s funeral.”

Bellamy’s hand on her spine squeezed her flesh as a reassurance. He knew how hard it was for her to talk about her dad, but she just smiled at him and gave him a quick kiss before going on. 

“You were just… we were standing by the casket as they were sinking it into the ground and Octavia had been my rock for two weeks, but she just lost it then. She’d loved my dad as well and yet she’d tried to be strong for me, so when she crumbled during the funeral and let go of my hand to hug your mom… I didn’t blame her at all. And then you just came and gently took my hand, squeezed it, and… shit, I couldn’t deny my feelings for you.” 

Bellamy was just staring at her wondrously. She really did love him, huh? He couldn’t believe it. How and why had they been denying their feelings for each other for so long? It felt surreal that she not only felt the same way as he did but had for as long as he had. 

“And then I realized my love for you on my nineteenth birthday. I’m pretty sure I already loved you before that, but I didn’t realize until then.” 

Bellamy opened his mouth to respond when there was a knock on the door. 

“Clarke?” Abby’s voice came through the door and the young couple exchanged panicked looks. Bellamy rolled off the bed hurriedly, landing on his back with a hissed “fuck”, leaving Clarke trying to stifle her giggling. She had just enough time to cover herself before Abby entered with barely any warning. 

“Mom”, Clarke feigned innocence and sleepiness as though she’d just woken up, “what’s going on?” 

Abby smiled and for a second Clarke was sure she knew that a very naked Bellamy was hiding under the bed, but then- “I was just coming in to make sure everything is alright. I’m sorry if I woke you.” 

“It’s okay”, Clarke felt slightly guilty for lying, but she pushed it away. 

“Good night, sweetheart”, Abby said. 

“Good night”, Clarke smiled faux-sleepily. 

Abby went to close the door but changed her mind at the last second. “Good night, Bellamy.” 

A second of silence went by before Bellamy’s muffled voice came from under the bed. “Good night, Mrs. Griffin.” 

Abby smirked at her daughter before closing the door for real, leaving Clarke in a fit of giggles and Bellamy’s face resurfacing with flushed cheeks. 

Abby smiled on the other side of the door as she heard Bellamy plead with her daughter to stop laughing. 

\---

“I don’t wanna”, Clarke whined like a petulant child. Bellamy was getting out of bed and putting on his clothes from the night before and Clarke was refusing to join him. “I know our friends, they’re gonna be so annoying.” 

Bellamy snorted. “How can you be sure they even know?” 

The blonde raised an unimpressed eyebrow. “You said yourself that Octavia definitely tricked us last night and if she knows about us, then everyone knows about us.” 

A smile spread across Bellamy’s face as he dragged the princess out of bed. “That’s not such a bad thing though”, he hesitated at her scowl, “right?” 

Clarke damned her boyfriend and his adorable face. “Of course not, I’m glad they know.” His grin was back in full force, practically forcing Clarke to grin back. “But they’re still gonna be assholes.” 

“Oh, definitely”, he smirked and pressed a kiss behind her ear - a place he’d already figured out was one of her weak spots. “Especially if you come down looking like this.” 

Clarke flushed, why did he have to do her like that? She was in nothing but his dress-shirt that was twice her size. 

“Why?” she feigned innocence. She batted her eyelashes at him while unbuttoning the shirt slowly. “You don’t like me wearing your clothes?” 

Bellamy groaned and dropped his head to her shoulder, causing Clarke to lose her composure and laugh. 

“You are not allowed to so much as look at me in front of your mother, or I will sorely embarrass myself. You probably shouldn’t talk to me either, or touch me…, maybe I shouldn’t be in the same room as you and your mother at the same time.” 

Clarke smacked him on the back because of his ridiculousness. He laughed into her hair and pressed a kiss to her cheek before pulling away. 

“Come on, princess”, he stroked her cheek gently. “Get the hell out of my shirt so we can go downstairs.” 

“Hah!” Clarke exclaimed before throwing off his shirt, exposing herself completely again. Bellamy clenched his jaw as he looked at her and she quirked an eyebrow, fighting a grin. 

“This”, he gestured to her before picking up the shirt she’d dropped to the floor, “I will take care of, once we get to my apartment.” He stood up and began putting the shirt back on, to Clarke’s dismay. “But for now”, he pointed at her with a scolding expression, that made a part of Clarke (that she’d never known about before) wanna disobey whatever he said next, “behave.” 

She stuck her tongue out at him (ignoring how her body was oddly affected by this  _ challenge _ ) and he followed that up with a quick, sweet kiss to her lips - leaving them both smiling. 

When they finally got downstairs, both fully dressed (Clarke in a sundress, since she had all her moving boxes there before moving in with Echo, and Bellamy in his suit from the day before… because he  _ didn’t _ have all his stuff there), they were, of course, met by their entire group of friends, cheering. 

Clarke immediately made to walk back upstairs, but Bellamy grabbed her arm and pulled her with him, laughter in his eyes. 

The rest of the day was spent with all their friends making fun of them while they just sat there and took it, holding hands under the table and sharing smiles. They could do that now. 

“Okay, okay, okay”, Jasper practically shouted to get everyone’s attention, “I knew the first time I met Bellamy.” 

A silence spread through the table before Monty, Harper, and Echo lost it. Bellamy and Clarke were equally confused, and Octavia didn’t seem any wiser. 

“Oh, my God!” Echo squealed. “Yes, that’s like the best one.” 

“What? What?” Raven was begging to be a part of the joke, Wells having to put a comforting hand on her thigh. 

“Oh, it was just the usual of what we would learn was an on-going game between you two”, Jasper began. 

\---

_ “I can’t believe you guys have this whole place for only you two”, Harper said as she put her feet in the water.  _

_ Clarke and Octavia had decided to invite their friends from school to hang out by the water clearing. Echo was sitting leaned up against a tree, shielded from the sun, Monty and Jasper were using sticks to sword fight with Octavia (who was clearly winning), and Clarke was sitting with Harper.  _

_ “You better believe it”, Octavia said at the same time as Clarke responded, “It doesn’t technically belong to us.”  _

_ Octavia poked Clarke with her stick while muttering, “Don’t start,  _ **_princess_ ** _.”  _

_ Clarke made a faux offended expression and opened her mouth to snark back when a voice from in the woods came through.  _

_ “Oh, it’s spreading. Good.”  _

_ Bellamy came into the light with a smug smile (Miller and Murphy trailing behind him as usual), but it quickly faded when he saw that it wasn’t just the usual girls.  _

_ Jasper and Monty, terrified of the older boys, dropped their sticks as if to show that they meant no harm. Echo straightened from where she was sitting, something interesting was finally happening that could take her mind off of what was going on at home. Harper was immediately interested in the older boys, especially Murphy and his grumpy face. Octavia rolled her eyes with a huff (here we go again, she thought), and Clarke was already fuming.  _

_ “Woah”, Murphy feigned surprise, “you two have friends?”  _

_ “Fuck off, Murphy”, Octavia spat.  _

_ He raised his hands in surrender with felene smile on his face, while Bellamy scowled at his sister. “O, language.”  _

_ The brunette huffed, but didn’t even have time to reply before Clarke jumped in to her defense.  _

_ “Oh, please. Your language is far more fowl, you probably taught her more than half the shit she says.”  _

_ Bellamy directed his stare back to the blonde and re-adopted the smirk, he loved riling her up. “Wow, the princess curses as well.” He took a step closer to her and she took that as an invitation to invade his space while glaring daggers. (None of her friends, other than Octavia, had ever seen her like this.) “Did I teach  _ you _ that as well?”  _

_ “Hah!” Clarke exclaimed. “As if. You have no influence on me, I’d have to care about you for that to happen.”  _

_ Bellamy didn’t even flinch, a comment as such was nothing new. The others were in shock however, the only other time her friends had seen Clarke use such harsh words was when Dax Shepard had been bullying Monty. Even then she’d kept her cool right up until the point when he called her friend a racial slur.  _

_ “‘As if’”, Bellamy laughed. “Wow, the princess is turning into a teenager. Soon enough your parents will surely marry you off to some acceptable man.”  _

_ Her eyes flashed with fury, her parents and their riches had been a sore subject ever since they told her she was going to a private school because the people there were more ‘respectable’. Bellamy, of course, didn’t notice and went on.  _

_ “Someone as well-off as you, any poorer is unacceptable. Probably no humor, sexist, narcissistic - and it would all be called having class. Am I in the ballpark?”  _

_ Clarke stared at him for a few seconds, the others holding their breath - including Miller and Murphy. Just as it seemed like Bellamy realized he might have fucked up, Clarke snorted. All the kids and teenagers gaped at her, especially as Clarke continued laughing.  _

_ “Oh, my God! I’m so gonna regret saying this, but”, another burst of laughter escaped her before she continued, “you are one-hundred percent right.” The others kept staring at her as if she’d grown a second head, although Bellamy couldn’t help but quirk a small smile. “The latest boy my parents introduced me to, with the purpose of letting me know what a ‘fine and dapper boy from a good family’”, she quoted with a high-pitched voice that sounded nothing like her mother, but still made her friends laugh, “looks like, I had to spend an hour listening to why a girl like myself shouldn’t have to worry about school because his mother never cared for school or work, and she ended up with his father so that  _ **_has to_ ** _ mean something, right?”  _

_ The others laughed, but Bellamy looked kind of dumbstruck - he felt a little ashamed. He’d only been joking, but at the knowing look Octavia shot him, he readapted the care-free smirk. She knew nothing.  _

_ A few minutes later, Miller and Bellamy were ready to head back to where they were meeting some friends from school, but Murphy was showing off for Harper while simultaneously having a competition with Jasper about who could make the worst dad joke and making Echo, Clarke, and Octavia groan with laughter.  _

_ The two older boys exchanged a look before Miller pulled out their ace. “Hey, Murph. I wasn’t supposed to say this but…”, he heaved a sigh as neither of the boys wanted to do this, knowing that their friend would not only act like an idiot, but his ego really could need some bruising instead of increasing, “Callie told me that Lucy was really hoping to see you at Colin’s.” _

_ The boy’s head immediately perked up and he had a look of excitement plastered all over his face. “Well, what are we waiting for then?” _

_ As Harper slumped her shoulders in disappointment, Murphy hurried off in the direction of Colin’s house (without his friends, no less). Miller sighed, knowing he would regret the decision he’d made as he trudged after the suddenly exhilarated teenager. Bellamy rolled his eyes and quickly went over to Octavia and told her went dinner was gonna be, considering their mother was working late.  _

_ Just as Clarke thought she was rid of him, he ruffled her hair with a grin and said, “Bye, Princess. And remember, don’t stay in school.”  _

_ She couldn’t help but snort, and jabbed him in ribs. “That was so bad.”  _

_ He grinned and when she wasn’t watching, he looked up to the two boys that were hanging with the girls. They had been staring at Bellamy and Clarke’s interaction, and without even thinking about it - he gave them a menacing look before turning and walking off. _

_ Monty and Jasper were left to nearly shit their pants.  _

\---

“I did not give you a look!” Bellamy exclaimed. 

The others around the table laughed, especially as Jasper jumped to his feet - clearly offended about being questioned. 

“You gave us a look!”

“You gave them a look”, Harper chimed in, to which Echo nodded. 

“So, wait”, Clarke giggled. “You laid claim on me?” 

“Oh, my God!” Bellamy buried his face in his hands. The only one to (kind of) comfort him was Abby, who patted him on the back as she went into the kitchen (although, she was laughing as well). 

“That’s why we never even dared to get crushes on you”, Monty told them from where he was sitting with his arm around Harper’s shoulders. “We were terrified Bellamy would murder us.”

“Yeah, you know”, Murphy began, “I thought it was actually pretty weird that you two hung out with her without even one dirty glance, not even when she was in that ‘school girl’-outfit.” 

Clarke’s face turned beet red and the table laughed again. Bellamy smirked and leaned in to whisper in her ear.

“I knew I wasn’t the only one who loved that fucking outfit.” 

Clarke grinned and whispered back filthily. “I think I might actually still have it.” 

Fortunately, the group of friends didn’t hear Bellamy’s groan because Octavia suddenly jumped up. “Oh! When I found out, it’s like my favorite story ever!” 

\---

_ “Urgh! I hate this!” Clarke was forcing herself not to cry as she stood in front of the mirror in Octavia’s room. “My boo-tit…”, the girl flushed, not comfortable with this language despite being all of sixteen. It was the beginning of summer and her body had changed a lot in the last few months. With a sigh, she continued. “My  _ **_breasts_ ** _ have gotten too big. Did you know that mom has to order a new uniform because the last one makes me look like a porn star?” _

_ Octavia, who was rummaging around in her closet, snorted. “Clarke, sweetie, that would have happened either way. Maybe not the ‘porn star’-bit, but your body would change either way. Isn’t it better if it’s like this instead of you not changing one bit?”  _

_ Clarke huffed and pulled at the hem of the oversized sweatshirt she was wearing. She knew she was in shape and had only been given the same curves the women on her father’s side had…, but she felt fat whenever yet another one of her tops got too small.  _

_ Octavia had originally wanted to go to the beach, but when she’d noticed Clarke’s discomfort at being in a public place, she’d immediately suggested going to the water clearing. Just the two of them.  _

_ “I have to go pee”, the brunette said and hurried out of the room.  _

_ Clarke sighed and began to pull off the sweatshirt, so she could put on her bikini. She couldn’t wear bras anymore because they never stayed in one size long enough for her to feel like it was worth spending money on, so she usually spent these warm months sweating in a tank top underneath something else.  _

_ As she’d gotten the sweatshirt halfway off, it suddenly got stuck around her head with her arms up in the sky. She groaned as she knew it was because she’d been dumb and bunched almost all of the shirt up around her throat.  _

_ “Shit”, she whined, not even trying - instead deciding to wait for Octavia to return so she could help. “Just fucking great.”  _

_ “Octavia!” a booming voice came and Clarke’s heart jumped to her throat as the door suddenly opened. “You left the milk c-” _

_ Bellamy froze on the spot at the sight in front of him. Despite her hair and face covered by some giant bundle of fabric, he knew who it was. He also knew that he wasn’t supposed to look exactly where his eyes had already landed, but the idiotic teenage boy in him (despite turning eighteen in only a month) couldn’t let him force his eyes away. _

_ “Um”, he let out, immediately embarrassed by his sudden lack of verbal prowess. “So- Clarke?” he barely managed.  _

_ The blonde forced herself not to cry of humiliation. The fact that he used her actual name proved how embarrassed he was for her, right? She could only imagine what she looked like; sweat stains under her giant boo-tit… ( _ **_urgh!_ ** _ ) breasts, jiggly thighs in those ugly shorts she’d stolen from her dad because she felt fat in regular ones, and not to mention - no bra. She was amazed that he hadn’t begun laughing at her yet.  _

_ Bellamy was staring in… amazement? He hadn’t really noticed before, but Clarke Griffin… was hot. No! That was inappropriate. She would be disgusted if she knew he’d noticed the outline of her nipples through the tank top and was having a  _ **_hard_ ** _ time dragging his eyes away. (Murphy would be proud of his internal joke, he hated himself for admitting.) Bellamy had never noticed that she’d grown into a woman. Curvy, delicious, fair thighs that made him wonder how soft they would feel. Breasts that outlined her tank top delightfully and that would shake ever so slightly with every move she made. He realized he actually wished he could see her face as well, wondering how pink her cheeks would be and if she’d wet her lips. Would her lips be soft? He stumbled as he realized what he’d just thought. _

_ While it had only been a few seconds, both teenagers felt like a lifetime had passed. Clarke was squirming on the spot, wishing she could see his face so she could paste a glare onto her own to seem more confident than she felt, all while Bellamy began to question everything he’d ever thought as well as berating himself for having such indecent thoughts.  _

_ “Bellamy?” Clarke eventually squeaked as the silence was killing her, and with him not leaving and Octavia not returning, something had to happen.  _

_ “Y-yeah”, he spoke up, voice strained. He cleared his throat and dragged his hand through his hair. “Coul- Do… Do you need some help?”  _

_ A silence stretched for maybe just a second, but it was enough for him to wish he’d never spoken a word of english in his life. And then she spoke up.  _

_ “Yes, please”, she said in something so close to a whimper that the adult in him felt ashamed and made him want to give her a hug, but the teenager in him wondered what she would sound like during different circumstances.  _

_ He quickly shook his head as if to rid his mind of those dirty pictures (and sounds), and walked towards her. Ignoring the sweet smell of her, confused by this sudden realization that he even noticed her smell, he took the bunched up material of her sweatshirt.  _

_ Meanwhile, Clarke was struggling with the heat she felt as soon as he got close to her. When he grabbed her shirt and carefully began unraveling all the material, Clarke unknowingly held her breath. His fingers would accidentally graze her collarbone and she’d feel burned.  _

_ Finally, Bellamy managed to drag the shirt up over her head. His mind forced him to take in the pretty pink of her lips and cheeks, the way her hair fell angelically around her shoulders, and the oceans of blue staring up at him.  _ **_Shit_ ** _ , he thought.  _ **_Clarke Griffin is pretty._ **

_ He was so enamored with the way she looked, that he almost didn’t notice that she’d said anything. “Huh?” he practically grunted.  _

_ Clarke’s cheeks turned a bright red and Bellamy cursed himself for being such an idiot.  _

_ “Um, I tha- I said ‘thank you’.”  _

_ “Oh”, Bellamy’s hand went to the back of his neck, “right, yeah. No problem.” He took a step back and coughed into the fist that had just been scratching his neck. Clarke was looking at him, almost suspiciously and panic striked. He couldn’t have her thinking… what he’d been thinking. “Jesus, this summer heat is making me act weird. I keep staring off into space, yesterday I stared at my glass of water for ten minutes. Can’t believe you actually wore something so warm today.”  _

_ Clarke let out a snort, feeling a sense of understanding dawn on her. She knew he couldn’t possibly be checking her out.  _

_ “Hence why I was trying to take it off”, she smirked. _

_ Bellamy chuckled with a nod. “Yeah, makes sense. Welp, I’m gonna find Octavia.”  _

_ Before he could turn around, a voice piped up. “No need, I’m right here.”  _

_ Octavia was standing in her doorway with a grin and as soon as Bellamy saw it, he frowned. He was not in the mood to hear his sister’s opinion on this situation.  _

_ He made to walk by her out the room, but stopped next to her and grumbled. “You left the milk carton out again.”  _

_ Once he’d left, Octavia closed her door and hurried over to Clarke with a mischievous gleam in her eyes, but before she could even open her mouth Clarke turned around and practically yelled, “Okay! Let’s head to the water clearing!” _

\---

“Oh!” Harper exclaimed whilst the rest of the room cackled (except for the couple in question who were planning their escape). “Why have I never heard this story before?” 

“Because it’s embarrassing”, Bellamy cut in before his sister could answer. “Teenagers being-”

“Horny?” Murphy amended. 

Bellamy glared at him before continuing, “- _ attracted _ to one another is something you read about in books.  _ Not _ something you talk about with your entire family.” 

Raven rolled her eyes. “Please, so boring. I’ll tell you guys when  _ I _ knew.” 

Whilst the others at the table seemed intrigued by this potential story, Bellamy and Clarke exchanged exasperated looks before standing up. 

“We’re heading out!” 

They didn’t even wait for a response before heading for the door, not that anyone at the table seemed to care that much. 

“Cowards!” Miller shouted. 

“We deserve this!” Josie told them. “We’ve been watching this denial game for years!” 

Rolling their eyes, the couple headed out and hurried over to Bellamy’s car. Thankfully, no one came after them. 

“I told you it would suck”, Clarke muttered as Bellamy began driving. 

He snorted. “I’m sorry, you’re right. We should have just stayed in your room forever.” 

“I’m not sure I accept your apology”, Clarke teased. “Will you make it up to me?” 

Stopping at a red light, Bellamy leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to her lips. “Anything for you, princess.” 

Clarke pretended to ponder that thought, tapping her finger against her chin as he began driving again. “Hm… anything I want?” 

Turning down the street to his apartment, Bellamy grinned. “Anything.” 

“There’s too many things I could ask for… Thank God I have the rest of our lives to come up with something.” 

Bellamy laughed as he parked the car, once again leaning over and kissing her - although, with this one he took his time. Clarke happily kissed him back, her hands going straight to his hair. They were both grinning so much that their teeth would clash together. When they leaned away from each other, they didn’t go far. Bellamy having his hands gently gripping her cheeks and pressing his nose against hers, he whispered, “Sap.” 

Clarke smiled softly and pecked him easily on the lips. “You love it.”

“Fuck, I do, don’t I?” 

Clarke laughed and pulled away. “Yup. And you’re stuck now.” 

Bellamy beamed and kissed her on top of her head. “Sounds good to me.”

The Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the very long wait and short cringy chapter. Had a hard time finishing this story and then with the bullshit that was season 7, I was pissed and didn't even plan to finish this. But I did because I love writing and I actually prefer fanfiction over the real deal. Hear that Jason? That's your fault! Fuck you... *cough* anyways, I hope you enjoyed it and I hope you won't hate me for the long wait and the fact that I will probably start writing a bit more multifandom. I love you all, take care, and wear masks!

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the angsty ending! I will finish the next chapter as soon as possible!


End file.
